I'm so sorry this happened. I know how you feel and your response of freezing is so normal. It will take a while to trust and feel comfortable with men again. Although you might feel ashamed, talking about it helps. Even or especially the gross details.
His mom is wrong. What he did has nothing to do with your behavior. It's 100% on him. It's normal to be nice to people, or even flirting would still NOT be an invitation to act like this. Did you ask him to do this? NO. Do you think he would have done this if he knew you were awake? NO. Would he have done it if others could see it? NO. That's because he knew it was wrong.
Let's say you gave him an opening by flirting, his appropriate course of action would have been to flirt back, ask you on a date, kiss each other first, get on a few dates, if you're receptive and into it, get together while you're, you know, awake and participating.
Non-consentual sexual acts are inappropriate (and illegal) responses to 'being nice' and flirting. And he knows it.
Don't communicate with his mom again. She won't budge and it's not good for your mental health. Tell a parent or someone else you trust the WHOLE story.
He might tell your friends a different story to change the narrative. The only control you have over that is to tell the whole truth as you experienced it. Some might take your side, other's not. The last thing you want is to have him there when you meet up with your friends, so avoid that.
You're in your mid 20s, figuring out and starting your adult life. She's in her mid 30s, knows exactly what she expects in a partner and is trying to force you to be that. Break up with her, and find someone your own age. Never settle for someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. You're not behind in life, she's just trying to hit the fast forward button on it.
Anti-anxiety medication should not be used for depression
Yes we do! We are the same 20-something ourselves in our 50-something bodies…
The other thing that some past experiences makes them act cautiously.
I'm so sorry this happened. I know how you feel and your response of freezing is so normal. It will take a while to trust and feel comfortable with men again. Although you might feel ashamed, talking about it helps. Even or especially the gross details.
His mom is wrong. What he did has nothing to do with your behavior. It's 100% on him. It's normal to be nice to people, or even flirting would still NOT be an invitation to act like this. Did you ask him to do this? NO. Do you think he would have done this if he knew you were awake? NO. Would he have done it if others could see it? NO. That's because he knew it was wrong.
Let's say you gave him an opening by flirting, his appropriate course of action would have been to flirt back, ask you on a date, kiss each other first, get on a few dates, if you're receptive and into it, get together while you're, you know, awake and participating.
Non-consentual sexual acts are inappropriate (and illegal) responses to 'being nice' and flirting. And he knows it.
Don't communicate with his mom again. She won't budge and it's not good for your mental health. Tell a parent or someone else you trust the WHOLE story.
He might tell your friends a different story to change the narrative. The only control you have over that is to tell the whole truth as you experienced it. Some might take your side, other's not. The last thing you want is to have him there when you meet up with your friends, so avoid that.
You're in your mid 20s, figuring out and starting your adult life. She's in her mid 30s, knows exactly what she expects in a partner and is trying to force you to be that. Break up with her, and find someone your own age. Never settle for someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. You're not behind in life, she's just trying to hit the fast forward button on it.
I think a lot of people share that enjoyment. I've been trying to figure out where that stems from/ what it is for ages.
Your parents are right.
So he has serious mental issues and refuses help, run now!