I appreciate your kind words, genuinely. The worst part is that his children (my soon-to-be step kids) live with their mother 2 1/2 hours away, and we only get to see them inconsistently, maybe once or twice a month. And I see the kids relying more and more on their own devices as they see their father being on his all the time. When they aren’t here, it’s just as bad and I start to feel personally hurt by this, as if he’d rather be playing the game than spending time with me, the kids, or all of us when they are here. I’ll definitely be having a conversation with him tomorrow about all of this. Again, thanks so much.
You just broke up on January 1st. It hasn’t even been a month yet. You say you’re doing this for you, and not for her, but honestly I find that very hot to believe and I’m sure she would too. You need to give it time – a lot of time, to prove that the changes you’re making are actually real and long-term.
Did you try talking to him about any of this? Ask him if he would be willing to increase the amount of sex? Did you two try to compromise? If he wouldn’t compromise, why? The no panties thing didn’t turn him on, did you ask what does? That sounds like a line from a movie that just doesn’t apply to everyone.
I’m getting the vibes that you two are horrible at communication, which lead to him being really shocked that you would just end it.
For the next guy you meet, emphasize communication and make your needs known.
Getting stood up sucks and is very rude but none of these people “lead you on“. That‘s just (live!) dating. Sometimes people just aren‘t interested in you.
I think the problem is your expectations. You already have a plan of how your desired relationship looks like. Just focus on having a good time and building genuine connections. When you talk to someone new, look forward to a nice date instead of a relationship.
'We went to a restaurant and he kept trying to go and talk to the waitress first ' This is the reason you think he's going to cheat on you?
Are you aware of the concept of a 'self-fulfilling prophesy'? The more paranoid/anxious and controlling you are the more likely you are to drive him away, possibly to someone who does in fact trust this apparently entirely trustworthy man.
Why not try putting some of that effort into your marriage so you don’t ruin the lives of your family? Get yourself together.
Well work on yourself. The songs are not an issue.
If you get another bf and he happens to like these songs, then they shouldn't be an issue.
If you like the songs, then they shouldn't be an issue.
You BF trying to get back to his ex 2 weeks ago is an issue. Move on this guy isn't serious.
I appreciate your kind words, genuinely. The worst part is that his children (my soon-to-be step kids) live with their mother 2 1/2 hours away, and we only get to see them inconsistently, maybe once or twice a month. And I see the kids relying more and more on their own devices as they see their father being on his all the time. When they aren’t here, it’s just as bad and I start to feel personally hurt by this, as if he’d rather be playing the game than spending time with me, the kids, or all of us when they are here. I’ll definitely be having a conversation with him tomorrow about all of this. Again, thanks so much.
Don’t sell your house sell your girlfriend.
You just broke up on January 1st. It hasn’t even been a month yet. You say you’re doing this for you, and not for her, but honestly I find that very hot to believe and I’m sure she would too. You need to give it time – a lot of time, to prove that the changes you’re making are actually real and long-term.
Did you try talking to him about any of this? Ask him if he would be willing to increase the amount of sex? Did you two try to compromise? If he wouldn’t compromise, why? The no panties thing didn’t turn him on, did you ask what does? That sounds like a line from a movie that just doesn’t apply to everyone.
I’m getting the vibes that you two are horrible at communication, which lead to him being really shocked that you would just end it.
For the next guy you meet, emphasize communication and make your needs known.
Getting stood up sucks and is very rude but none of these people “lead you on“. That‘s just (live!) dating. Sometimes people just aren‘t interested in you.
I think the problem is your expectations. You already have a plan of how your desired relationship looks like. Just focus on having a good time and building genuine connections. When you talk to someone new, look forward to a nice date instead of a relationship.
If your bf has been with you since you were 15, I'm gonna assume he's been that way towards her too.
Thank you for your advice. I appreciate hearing this from an outside perspective.
'We went to a restaurant and he kept trying to go and talk to the waitress first ' This is the reason you think he's going to cheat on you?
Are you aware of the concept of a 'self-fulfilling prophesy'? The more paranoid/anxious and controlling you are the more likely you are to drive him away, possibly to someone who does in fact trust this apparently entirely trustworthy man.
Try counselling.
If people dont want to feel special why do you have to?
At this point it is more about you that it is about them.
And if noone shows up they may have had their reasons or even wrote back they wont make it
Yeah I’m sure she’ll come back around, just gotta wait and see ¯_(ツ)_/¯