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If that's the level of your relationship, honestly, break it off.
Giving you an ultimatum will make the symptoms worse. If I'm stressed out about the premise then it just snowballs and it's impossible for it to happen.
She can't become a hermit. It's a class.
If this was all disclosed, you have to just deal.
…….
Honestly, you don't seem like the long-distance type.
Man I have nearly the same problem.
Gf has trauma, ADHD, and claims she’s too tight but I suggested to her it might be vaginismus or that she needs to relax because it feels like she’s clenching to prevent insertion. She also has problems with heigene and does not want to look at genitals (mine or her own). You seem to have done more as we do not have money to see a specialist about it. We’re far from PIV sex and you have heard some of these from your specialist but here’s some things that helped.
Confirm during conversations that you do both actually want to have sex and are willing to put in work to slowly work your way there.
Occasionally I will tell my girl she’s pretty, I want her, (or get more crass/jokey) tell her I want to bang her, or jokingly that I want to “plow her into oblivion” while I’m all over her and grabbing her ass and rubbing my face all over her.
Started off just touching myself while looking at her, kissing, feeling her up etc.
Ask of she wants to touch me/ can I touch her a bit.
Rub her clit. It took a few times but after like 5 weeks of trying she’d start to get a little wet.
Worked my way up to insertion. She was not a fan so I started convincing her to maybe try giving me a handy.
She can now give me handies but she’s still eyes closed tight. I’m going to try getting her to do things with eyes open next. I may try to start with lights off and work my way up from there.
We got a vibrator. I got her to come into the store with me but I pretty much had to choose it while she looked at the coloring books/sex games because dildos look too much like penises and it bothers her.
Rubbed the vibrator on her clit and occasionally will try to insert it (WITH LUBE!!!!) (you probably already know but lube will be super important when you touch her plus it feels way better when she gives handjobs.)
Tried it today and got about 3 inches deep (a new record!) as she was more relaxed than usual but still tense.
She’s mentioned trying alcohol next time (she doesn’t drink) and while I thought it was a good idea at first I kinda like that she doesn’t drink and don’t want it to become a crutch for her.
My girl is definitely not interested in blowjobs but yours may be different as I’m not sure if your wife’s trauma is the same as my girl’s but it’s an idea if you haven’t tried yet.
That’s all I have for now. Hopefully some of this helps you in some way. Good luck bro, you’re not alone in this. ??‍????‍????‍??
This “be yourself” is really one of the lies people should stop spreading.
There are clear boundaries accepted by society within which you can be yourself, but if you are unfortunate enough to naturally be outside these boundaries you better change if you want to online a happy life.
If it's just a guy trying to manipulate you, just ignore it.
But of a couple of friends hint that there is something you need to change, try to listen to them with an open mind.
Bad spam repost bot.
Or both…
If you're disgusted by it, you should leave. Just because he's got a kink doesn't mean you have to accept it. If you want to stay with him, you'll have to be okay with it. If you can't do that, it's better that you leave. Personally, if I found my bf with that kind of writing, I'd leave, just because I would have lost respect.