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If he's selfish and inconsiderate in this situation, he will be in others. Best if you can make a break. You're already lying and hiding things from him. Is that the kind of relationship you want to have?
Just talk about it with her, no one knows what she's thinking except for her. Personally, I think it has really different meaning based on what she's talking about- does she mean opening it up but always together, as in trying 3 ways? Because then I think this is salvageable- explain that you don't see yourself ever being interested in that but maybe there are other sex things she's interested in to spice up the bed room.
If it's she is interested in sex with other people alone though and that's messed it up for you, talking it out will help you understand that too.
Should'nt have slept with him in the first place. Perhaps that is what making you confused right now and difficulty in extracting yourself from him. His daughter is your age OP, that is disgusting on his part. Look at the reality of things…his family, your family if you really want to be together. And what about children??..he wants to have children still at 54??. He should be looking at retirement in a few years, while you are at the peak of your adulthood. In a few years, I doubt he can still give you that wild sex that you might be having with him now.
If you found out right now, point blank, that he will never marry you – would you leave? If the answer is yes, just save yourself the years of stress and go.
You deserve to be in a relationship with someone compatible to you, and if marriage is important (and you’re allowed to feel it is) then find that person because he isn’t it. If you have to drag him to the proverbial alter kicking and screaming then you won’t have a happy life. He will resent you or you’ll resent him in either scenario. He’s allowed to feel how he wants to feel, and you need to understand that you can’t change him but you don’t need to change yourself either.
I have spoken
Okay, I know you love her. But do you like her?