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Are you in the same house you were in when you were dating him? Is he familiar with the house?
I’m the 30 year old.
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Start keeping a written record of everything hes doing. Save any texts, photos, voicemails that have been threatening or gaslighting, etc. if you can, write down everything hes done that you remember. Have another convo, preferably text, explaining how you feel, and hopefully he’ll tall shit, and help put the nails in his coffin. THEN go to the police with your evidence, or post all those messages ona community social media page if he tries to derail your career or anything like that.
TLDR; document everything!!
*she
Oof yikes. OP… you need therapy. Your relationships with people sound awful and toxic. I'm not blaming you but something needs to change
I did suggest a part time job once, but again I didn’t want to push it. Im just worried for him, I’m probably overthinking it because of my family’s financial situation growing up, and I don’t want him to experience that. We’ve also recently talked about kids(I was told I may not be able to have kids if I wait a lot longer), and while I’m not ready quite yet he’s said he’s there for whatever I decide, but that just feels irresponsible right now given that he’s not working and although I have a stable enough job it’s not enough to raise a kid on.
Where he is from originally (couple states away) he has started a business. He will be out of the military in 3 years and (if it lasts) we will move there together. The education is better and the pay for teachers is higher there. He will get out of the barracks, but also be making more per check to fund his business. I will have better access to healthcare. But also other benefits that dependas get such as schooling. I’m a teacher, but am working towards a doctorate in psychology
You sound fun at parties, bud.
If you're richer than he is, his request that you adopt the kid is even more dubious.
Your lack of relationship experience – given your age – may have left you unprepared to have appropriate boundaries in a relationship about what is and is not acceptable in a loving partnership.
Trying to rope you into adopting his child is a huge warning sign. That you seem to be taking primary responsibility for caring for HIS child is another. Finally, that you seem to be funding the relationship points toward his using you.
Question:
When you first started dating him, did he ever say that you seem much more mature than other 18 year olds? Did he ever say that women his own age don't understand him? Does he ever use your age or inexperience as a reason why you don't understand or should accept something he's saying or doing? Does he ever tell you “that's how relationships work” Do you ever disagree with him and does he accept it and compromise or are you always the one who has to compromise?
No, its not. Cool story. ?
Haha, I don't think I am too controlling. We have the same sex life of everyone else I know our age, I don't think porn is necessary for a fulfilling sex life but maybe I'm wrong.