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Or he gave zero shits until he found out she did have kids and perhaps they weren’t conceived as a result of her night spent at another man’s house!!!
To me, it sounds very much like you have some clearly defined goals which you simply won't be able to reach if you choose to stay in the relationship.
Compromise may sometimes involve sacrifice, but it doesn't necessarily have to, and it definitely shouldn't if you're deep down not willing to let it. Whether you're ok with letting go of your aforementioned goals for the sake of this relationship is entirely up to you, but you if you're trying to avoid having to make that decision by proposing ill-fitting alternatives such as an open relationship when you're actually both monogamous, you're essentially just trying to put a band-aid on a wound that is in urgent need of surgery.
It also sounds like a lot of your reasons for staying are either practical ones or things you hope for but basically can't be certain of and which aren't even that present as it is. Yes, you and your girlfriend technically are in similar phases of your life and may have similar priorities, but her mental health struggles are understandably putting those things on the backburner for now and may even make it impossible for her to actualise them.
I think the best you can do for yourself is to just remain aware of when enough is enough, so to speak. If you're still having doubts, then maybe you haven't reached that point yet. For me, back then, it came quite clearly when I realised that coming home and walking through the door to our shared home was actually the worst part of my day.
Yeah I think this can be a useful thing to keep in mind. I really appreciate your advice 🙂
Lol
You are not taking this the wrong way. Take him at his word and retain a divorce lawyer, because if you are too sick to work, you will want alimony.
What happened to the kids, Op? You mentioned them at the begging of your post but nothing about them afterwards? Do you have them/does she? Do you/her visit with them? How are the kids doing?
I dont think she is being harrased or forced. But i do trust her alot, aside from the incidents i listed, nothing ever seemed off to me.
Like I said for you own sake and mental health you will have to either go NC or LC because she is using that guilt your feelings to her benefit. Your going to have to start treating her like an adult and actions having consequences
My family has always called people like that a one-upper
Their story/opinion/experience HAS to be better than yours