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Birth Date: 2000-02-09
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This is called triangulating:
What is Narcissist's Triangulation. Triangulation is considered a form of emotional abuse that can occur in any relationship. Your covert narcissistic partner may pull in a third person into your toxic relationship to create conflicts between the two of you so they can manipulate and take advantage of you.
Uh… I mean it’s all red flags? There’s so many it’s difficult for me to tease them apart.
Basically my mother was in your place. My father was a narcissist and being with narcs you feel crazy because they make you feel that way. His expectations were simply insane and constantly changing. There was no living up to them. Ever. The only way to win is not to play. Pck your shit, get out, and get you and your daughter therapy to help you recover.
Honestly the only thing you need to understand is yourself-you know how you feel-like you’re dying. You’re so miserable so why aren’t you leaving? Why don’t you love yourself? And why are you putting your daughter through this and modeling this behavior for her?
GET OUT. You’ll be shocked how quickly you feel better. My mother is now in a happy supportive relationship. I, unfortunately, still live! with the long term damage of growing up in that environment. If you won’t do this for yourself, do it for your daughter.
I totally understand now. Ok so that was in your 20s and you have outgrown that. Again nothing wrong with that. He is a bit old for him to find a kick out of that. I understand that we can sometimes keep certain thing we like but hitch hiking is extremely risk taking. You don’t feel comfortable so that is something he should not guilt trip you over. Have a talk with him. Try approaching it amicably but please be very observant in what he tells you (even write some of it down when he is not in your presence). Observe how he reacts and I am sure you will see if he is still interested in the relationship and willing to work it out. Remember someone who takes you for granted will not budge. I hope he comes to his senses and sees that you are in the right. Regardless if the relationship brings to many hardships and puts you in a situation where this person is extremely selfish and doesn’t think about your needs and or opinion then maybe you need to sit down and ask yourself the plus and minus of the relationship and if it’s worth it staying. Remember people do spend a life time in cases with people who are not healthy… some spend their whole youth only to be abandoned once they reach a certain age (it’s very common for women unfortunately to be abandoned by their husband). Remember a person’s character is shown at the worst times. Best to you.
Based just on your description, it sounds like your co-worker is a nice and friendly human being that enjoys a chat. She may also consider you a “safe” man to be casually friendly with, considering that you are happily married, so she assumes that there is no need to be afraid of you trying to hit on her just because she is a kind and smiley human being.
I even told him to “please stop” and basically begged him to get off. I repeated that I wasn’t in the mood so many times so it wasn’t even just a no, i tried making myself as clear as possible. If only I had the courage or ability to push him or something but he was literally on top of me and I’m a lot smaller and weaker than he is unfortunately. I also didn’t push him because like a week ago, he was doing the same thing where he wouldn’t get off and firmly told him I wasn’t in the mood (which I did this time too) and he got really mad at me. And honestly it scared me because if he got mad at me for verbally telling him to stop, image what he’d do if I physically started doing it. And if I physically started pushing him off or hitting him he’d probably say I was physically abusive and then idk what if he tells people I was physically abusive. I don’t know a lot of these rationalizations are probably stupid and I’m ranting again lol. Thank you so much for the comment, I really appreciate the advice.