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He goes out around twice per month but drinks to the point he cannot speak properly & cannot remember anything in the morning.
Look, everyone has had a couple nights like that because they accidentally drank something stronger than they realized. That couple is in their lives not in a month.
We realize “that was stupid” and don't do it again. We don't do it every month. That's being an alcoholic.
You're marrying an addict. He's peeing because he's an addict. He's drunk walking because he's an addict.
Do you want him to shake the baby in his drunken state?
The wedding needs to be paused and he needs to get help for his addiction.
MckittenMan, if feels like you took my thoughts, organized the, and typed them out so nicely. This is exactly how I feel. And the reason I turned to Reddit is because when I talk about it with him, I try to see his point of view and be as forgiving as I can. That ends up confusing me. And even forgiving him hasn’t made this feeling go away. Thank you so much for your reply. It helped me a lot
LOL I'm an asshole because you won't listen to reasonable advice? You are enabling his behaviour by allowing him to on-line without a job and not contribute in any way. He is not facing any consequences for his actions, so why would he change?
Nothing you have said or done is anywhere close to offensive. Relax.
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She asked if that would be a problem for me going forward and if i viewed her as less of a woman, which if i did she’d be extremely surprised of that coming from me as I don’t give off terf vibes.
That sounds quite manipulative. Is that her way of saying “if you don't want to date me, you're a TERF”?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You tried to pull a sneaky and it backfired. Lose that woe is me shit. You admit to bugging your wife until she agreed and now you can sleep with other women but she can’t sleep with men? Fuck off outta here with that shit. If she were only into men would you have pushed for this or were you just trying to get your wife to agree to a threesome/you having sex with other women?
Your relationship with your wife is so adorable! Yes we are currently working out on things an agreed to go for couples therapy together. He also agreed on not commenting about other girls like that anymore, I really hope he does take the responsibility and not blame it on just my insecurities though.
Mate, I can get wanting to be open minded and all, but she quite literally has no respect for you or your marriage if she was willing to cheat on you with this fella while also covering it up. If she asked first maybe things would be different.
Good, stick to your boundaries. Porn is one of those things that people just have a variety of perspectives about. It's becoming more and more normalized, but don't let anyone sway you about your boundary because it's perfectly valid. However, it's also valid for him to insist that porn is okay. You will need to decide if porn use is a deal breaker for you, sit down with him, and come up with an agreement so you both know what the boundaries are
… and not just nipples. Just for starters.
Well that very well could be the rock that your issue is hiding under. Especially considering it's almost impossible to hide beliefs. You might not discuss them directly but if you've been with someone for years and have had any serious conversations with them they'd have to be an absolute doofus to not have some idea of your political beliefs.
She wants to screw someone else.
Nope, I will not advice a codependent person how to stay in relationship they should clearly leave.