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Yeah, you aren't ready for an adult relationship
i just feel dirty and like i should’ve known better
There's a lot of me, me, me in this post, have you thought for one second about what you're doing to her? You talk about what an amazing, wonderful person she is, but you still don't think that she deserves to be with someone who's really in love with her? You don't think this incredible person you call your best friend deserves the chance to experience being really, fully, passionately adored? I think you need to ask yourself if you really love this woman, or if you just love the things that she does for you and the emotional labor she puts into making you feel loved. Because when you really care about someone, you think about what's best for them, not just the things they can provide for you.
Why dont you explain it to them? These kinds of people are among the ones that make the world uglier place to live!.
I don't think he could do better than you, but I think YOU could do better than HIM.
I don't agree with jumping to encouraging break ups, as often times the things we see on here may just be one bad incident that a couple can move past. There are several things that you bring up that are concerning to me.
First off, it's of course INCREDIBLY rude to tell a partner that you “could do better than” them. That's just not something you say to someone you love.
Second, him wanting you to quit your job is really odd, and seems slightly controlling. Your job is your choice, and him ordering you that you need to resign is a red flag.
Third, why does he care if you watch TV? If youre playing a loud show while he's trying to study or something and it's so loud that he can't focus, then I understand, but I feel that's likely not the case here. As long as his reasoning isn't like “I can't do xxxx when you watch tv”, it's odd and controlling.
Fourth, he has “rules” that he makes you follow that just legitimately don't make sense, like not eating 2 different types of fruit. Has he ever heard of a fruit salad? But fr this is very controlling and there's no reason.
Fifth. I believe he may be gaslighting you. I know that term gets thrown around alot, but here's your case. He lectures you and makes comments that make you feel bad, if he finds out you eat something he doesn't want you to eat, or don't work out, etc. Then when you express your very normal reaction of how it makes you not want to tell him about it, he says that he isn't forcing you to do or not do anything. It's like me telling someone “you can drink soda, I'm not stopping you” but Everytime they drink soda I tell them that soda is bad for them and their teeth are going to fall out and it's super unhealthy. Sure it's not forcing but it's very much pressuring.
Have you looked him dead in the eye and said “that's never going to fucking happen and if you can't on-line with that there's the fucking door”?
I think you are misinterpreting my statement.
I was expressing that a lot of men say that a woman having a sexual liaison with another woman is no problem but only when it's theoretical. If his girlfriend or wife actually HAS a sexual liaison with another woman, it's going to be a much bigger deal than he said it would be.
I can’t believe it’s like a popular opinion in these comments but that’s Reddit for us