So this is the same situation I have with my partner. 100% go to your doctor. We have tried so many different positions, foreplay etc. Some work, some don't and what works one time might not work another. It's neither of your fault. Our bodies just hate us sometimes lol. My partner is going to be going to his doctor when we are trying for kids. But for right now it's not much of an issue for either of us. (He has always been like this)
I'm wondering why you want to.work on a relationship when he was committed to someone else as well…. You are young and you still have time to find someone that won't have two long term relationships going at once before your middle aged and won't have to worry about being an old mom, if you choose to have kids. I am not the person who believes cheating ends all relationships, but ones that had a long term relationship is a whole different story.
It sounds like you had a really bad experience with this surgeon and it's understandable that you feel so upset by what happened. No one should ever pressure someone into doing something they are not comfortable with or make them feel disrespected. It is important to stand your ground and be true to who you are, no matter the cost. You did the right thing in being honest about how uncomfortable you were with the idea of BDSM – that's totally okay!
You need to take care of yourself first, know your boundaries and values, and place your own mental health as priority above all else. In situations like this, talking things out may not always work alone – it's also important for both parties involved to seek external support/counseling if needed before returning back into a relationship context.
I also want you to remember that any toxic relationship dynamics have nothing (absolutely nothing) to do with age or world craziness; bad behavior is unacceptable always and under all circumstances regardless of who’s involved!
Your concerns are totally valid. Just talking is innocent, but doing so while deliberatedly ignoring the SO is not. And sending intimate photos is a thousand times more inappropriate.
The worst part is that your bf is aware of all this… and he doesn't care. Clearly he feels flattered by the other girl's attention and in his mind he can get away with it.
Whether you are willing to end the relationship is on you. But it seems impossible he'll drop her, after your previous requests have been disregarded so nonchalantly.
I didnt villify anyone. I specifically waited for everyone else to leave to breech the topic I could have just as well reacted immediately but I was considerate
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Neither did Abraham Lincoln or Bill Gates. College isn't the only way to be successful in life. My father is a high school dropout and runs a multimillion dollar form with about 200 employees.
Why don't you two just not live with each other but live! close to each other? Then you two could be neighbors (or pretty close in proximity) and visit and have sleepovers and stuff when you want? Not living together doesn't mean you'll never be near each other
I personally think it's for the best to not be together like this. Looking at it from my own perspective, I wouldn't want to date or online with someone that's married and living with someone else already. Them not being able to move out or divorce their partner would show me that my relationship with them is on the back burner to them, and that would feel unfair, especially because I'd like to marry the person that I'm with at some point
I understand feeling VERY attached since you've been with each other since childhood, but it's going to be very hard to find people that want to be in this situation with you two, ESPECIALLY people who want to settle down, marry, and have kids. Would just having hookups with someone else be enough for him? It doesn't sound like it. Hookups don't involve emotional closeness that romantic relationships bring, so if he ever wants that, he isn't going to get it from hookups.
I know what you mean, it’s just so much harder to judge the situation when your feelings are involved and you’ve put so much into a relationship with someone
If I was in your situation I would assume that “she's checked out” and I would just consider ending this relationship since “I'm not trying hard enough”. You can't force compatibility and this sounds like one of those cases. It's time to end it.
Poor dude. I would text him how he is doing. He is probably super embarrassed and you're most likely not going to see him again. But maybe he can lift a little embarrassment after having a conversation about it. He might not respond as well. But it's worth a shot.
Most guys have a pretty good idea of why they’re not getting off during sex. If I had to bet, he’s either got more going on with substance use than you know about or he’s got physical probs that he doesn’t want to talk about. It could also be he’s like sapiosexual and just doesn’t quite have the connection he wants with you yet to really open up. Any which way, a guy having sex is generally designed to orgasm at some point. If he is not and doesn’t find that strange, then something is definitely off and it’s not in your head.
I think you should directly address it with her, “I notice you call my child “baby,” and never use his actual name. His name is “Joe” (or whatever, obvs), and I'd appreciate you using his name.” Her reaction will pretty much tell you if the friendship is worth continuing, because of she becomes confrontational, or goes back into the “stole” her name thing, it's just not worth it to keep someone that petty in your life.
Guys who ask me to go out, really, I say yes to all of them because I'm always up for meeting new people
So this is the same situation I have with my partner. 100% go to your doctor. We have tried so many different positions, foreplay etc. Some work, some don't and what works one time might not work another. It's neither of your fault. Our bodies just hate us sometimes lol. My partner is going to be going to his doctor when we are trying for kids. But for right now it's not much of an issue for either of us. (He has always been like this)
I'm wondering why you want to.work on a relationship when he was committed to someone else as well…. You are young and you still have time to find someone that won't have two long term relationships going at once before your middle aged and won't have to worry about being an old mom, if you choose to have kids. I am not the person who believes cheating ends all relationships, but ones that had a long term relationship is a whole different story.
It sounds like you had a really bad experience with this surgeon and it's understandable that you feel so upset by what happened. No one should ever pressure someone into doing something they are not comfortable with or make them feel disrespected. It is important to stand your ground and be true to who you are, no matter the cost. You did the right thing in being honest about how uncomfortable you were with the idea of BDSM – that's totally okay!
You need to take care of yourself first, know your boundaries and values, and place your own mental health as priority above all else. In situations like this, talking things out may not always work alone – it's also important for both parties involved to seek external support/counseling if needed before returning back into a relationship context.
I also want you to remember that any toxic relationship dynamics have nothing (absolutely nothing) to do with age or world craziness; bad behavior is unacceptable always and under all circumstances regardless of who’s involved!
Your concerns are totally valid. Just talking is innocent, but doing so while deliberatedly ignoring the SO is not. And sending intimate photos is a thousand times more inappropriate.
The worst part is that your bf is aware of all this… and he doesn't care. Clearly he feels flattered by the other girl's attention and in his mind he can get away with it.
Whether you are willing to end the relationship is on you. But it seems impossible he'll drop her, after your previous requests have been disregarded so nonchalantly.
I didnt villify anyone. I specifically waited for everyone else to leave to breech the topic I could have just as well reacted immediately but I was considerate
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Id also ask him to reduce his internet porn time, a common issue nowadays is so much extreme porn desensitises men and makes normal intimacy difficult
Neither did Abraham Lincoln or Bill Gates. College isn't the only way to be successful in life. My father is a high school dropout and runs a multimillion dollar form with about 200 employees.
Why don't you two just not live with each other but live! close to each other? Then you two could be neighbors (or pretty close in proximity) and visit and have sleepovers and stuff when you want? Not living together doesn't mean you'll never be near each other
I personally think it's for the best to not be together like this. Looking at it from my own perspective, I wouldn't want to date or online with someone that's married and living with someone else already. Them not being able to move out or divorce their partner would show me that my relationship with them is on the back burner to them, and that would feel unfair, especially because I'd like to marry the person that I'm with at some point
I understand feeling VERY attached since you've been with each other since childhood, but it's going to be very hard to find people that want to be in this situation with you two, ESPECIALLY people who want to settle down, marry, and have kids. Would just having hookups with someone else be enough for him? It doesn't sound like it. Hookups don't involve emotional closeness that romantic relationships bring, so if he ever wants that, he isn't going to get it from hookups.
I know what you mean, it’s just so much harder to judge the situation when your feelings are involved and you’ve put so much into a relationship with someone
If I was in your situation I would assume that “she's checked out” and I would just consider ending this relationship since “I'm not trying hard enough”. You can't force compatibility and this sounds like one of those cases. It's time to end it.
Poor dude. I would text him how he is doing. He is probably super embarrassed and you're most likely not going to see him again. But maybe he can lift a little embarrassment after having a conversation about it. He might not respond as well. But it's worth a shot.
This is a really really really bad idea.
Most guys have a pretty good idea of why they’re not getting off during sex. If I had to bet, he’s either got more going on with substance use than you know about or he’s got physical probs that he doesn’t want to talk about. It could also be he’s like sapiosexual and just doesn’t quite have the connection he wants with you yet to really open up. Any which way, a guy having sex is generally designed to orgasm at some point. If he is not and doesn’t find that strange, then something is definitely off and it’s not in your head.
It's not uncommon to have your partner with you for support when coming out to your parents.
What you do is play nice until you fly home and never go back. He’s abusing you.
I don’t have any place to go unfortunately. That’s why I’ve stayed with him for this past year .
I could be off but I’m getting weird vibes about OP and his parents. Why are the parents so important in this equation to him?
I suppose I was hoping it could potentially mean he's just overly busy with things, but I think the same 🙁
You’re fiancé is a cheapskate. It’s absurd that anyone would think a 50/50 split when the income is so lopsided. Nothing fair at all about that.
I think you should directly address it with her, “I notice you call my child “baby,” and never use his actual name. His name is “Joe” (or whatever, obvs), and I'd appreciate you using his name.” Her reaction will pretty much tell you if the friendship is worth continuing, because of she becomes confrontational, or goes back into the “stole” her name thing, it's just not worth it to keep someone that petty in your life.