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Do you know what is the difference between me and a mosquito? I don, ‘t stop sucking after being spanked., 21 y.o.
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Do you think my baby would be happiest if I raised them with his bio dad? I’m just looking for what’s best for the baby.
Results of my pro con lists:
Materially – husband
Emotionally- other man
Genetically – ?
Ya they had a super turbulent relationship but he’s on steroids and abusive and she really wants to leave him I think it’s just hot for her. Should I give her the grace of making mistakes so we can grow together and start a relationship?
Yes, that’s pretty much what he said. It definitely took me off guard because I didn’t ask. He just said, “hey you should be aware…”
You should have as much access to children as she does, and I would get an attorney immediately. I am sorry this happened.
He sounds unwell I’m sorry to say. It feels like the veganism is the means to withdraw from everyone for whatever reason. If you feel you can express concern for his mental health it would be good to have that conversation.
Beyond it though you’re not obligated to indulge him longterm and thereby withdraw from your own whole life too. Hope your talk can inspire him to reflect on what may be happening, and look into next steps for some help.
Thanks, I will be salty if he says he doesn’t view me the same way anymore but I’ll just move on if that’s what happened
Open the door her brother
What's annoying is she made me wait thinking it's all my fault, I'm angry , i want revenge.
Haha! Thank you. I was wondering how people kinda skipped that part. She will get back together with her ex and tell her ex that the “breakup of this relationship with OP was a long time coming”… and she'll be right.
I’m not even gonna say sh*t because everyone’s already set an alarm off and I think the age gap should’ve given it away to you
His “therapist” hasn't helped shit if this 53-year-old is incapable of hearing his long-term, pregnant partner ask for “commitment” just in the form of actual monogamy without “shutting down.”
I think the time for worrying about how to coddle this man-child is long past. You really need to be willing to step up for what you and your children need, here.
Because she is being emotionally manipulative. She’s immature and not ready to be in a grown up relationship.
What good will come of this besides assuaging your guilt?
Your son will be miserable which will make you miserable.
They are likely to leave your house dirty. You will have to pay for EVERYTHING. They will likely never leave.
I mean, you do you, but this doesn't sound like a good idea.
Then at that point you revisit your situation regards work, the marriage, etc.
Nowhere near enough context for anyone to give valid advice.
There’s always the possibility of further damage.
Yes. If you were still living at home, they might have concerns about you being a drain on the finances if you didn't have a job.
But if you are living on your own, making your own decisions, they are welcome to an opinion…but you aren't obliged to take it into account. My dad told me once he thought I should go into medicine, but I never had any interest in that sector at all, and I went into computer science.
You have an obligation to yourself to take care of yourself now that you are an adult. You know what is going on in your life. You know what expenses you have, and what income you need, and what kind of work will help you meet those needs.
In short, you have a plan. So, how much criticism of that plan is good?
With any plan, you want to look for weaknesses and gaps. Is something missing? If something doesn't work, do you have a back-up plan?
To use an analogy, consider travel planning. Maybe I want to go someplace by train, because there's a wedding in that destination, and I want to enjoy the trip. But I wouldn't take the train that gets me there a couple hours before the wedding; trains can be late (in the US, very late), so I'd plan to arrive at least a day before. But if a landslide took out the tracks, I'd probably opt to fly instead. So I had a plan, understood a risk and planned accordingly, and have a backup in case the plan doesn't work out.
If my only idea was to take a train and show up on the day of the wedding, telling me that trains can be late and I might want to arrive a day ahead is valuable feedback; constructive criticism that helps me make a better plan.
Telling me that trains are an awful way to travel and too slow is without value. I like trains. Someone trying to make their personal preference seem like a superior choice that renders my plan fatally flawed is too much criticism.
To use another analogy: Suppose you plan to go out to dinner for Chinese new year, so you plan to go to a Chinese restaurant. If your family hates Chinese food, them telling you that you are making a mistake and should go to an Italian restaurant instead isn't valuable criticism at all. It misses the point, and that you get to make choices about your own life.
I don't want to get up on my feminist soap box, but I'm gonna correct you to say that there's an influx of people not taking accountability for anything. Just kinda hit home as I was in a 7 yr relationship w a guy who was this way. I had to move away for college and as such he decided it was my fault that he had to move with me, and as “revenge” didn't get a job for about 4 yrs while I worked full time and went to school to keep the lights on. It's certainly not just women.
I'm Canadian. When I was 19 I dated a boy from the US. He would heavily criticize me for my accent too, to the point where if I ever apologized to him during an argument he would later insist that I never did because “sorry” pronounced the Canadian way isn't a word (sor-ee compared to sar-ee). He was controlling in other ways and the relationship escalated to be extremely abusive.
You said you've been with your boyfriend for 2+ years, and I'm worried that there is more to this story than you're sharing, especially given your background. Do you feel completely and totally comfortable with him? Does he get along with your friends/loved ones? Does he help you pursue your goals and interests? Does he cheer you on and enjoy seeing you succeed on your own terms?
I just updated the post, he pays for most of our expenses and quit the program because of his PTSD. He quit to start therapy and once he's better he has plans to go into computer science
Acts speak WAY louder than words. Anyways therapy ( saw you are actively looking for it. AND for her ).
To be honest, at your age, you might thinks she's your entire world. Pr0 tip: she's not. You are young, inexperienced and naive. You'll learn.
Pr0 tip number 2: I'd just dump her and avoid all that drama. Drama is NEVER worth it. You'll find it when you grow. And still Ill go to therapy if I were you.
You mean he is my moms 3rd cousin right ?
I was really just oblivious, I have never had long term friendships or anything. My bf says my mom controlling what I wear, eat, sports I play, and putting her emotions ahead of her kids (me) stunted my growth emotionally and has lead me to be immature. I have never had a real thought process either, this is the first time I have ‘failed’ my mother never allowed me to fail on my own. She always told us we were perfect and that lead me to never feeling a need to develop myself more. Now I am 24 and feel extremely immature and I have selfish tendencies and act entitled even though I don’t want to