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He wrote your trust and was never going to tell you. Are you going to believe it was just head?
With a sex worker in SE Asia during one month? I bet he's done everything in his manual, living his Asian “fantasies” that are not fantasies anymore.
Of course he won't tell you. How are you going to trust him again? He's shown either lack of self control, or plain disregard for you and your health.
Get tested. An STDI can make you infertile amongst other more well known things.
Best wishes.
Its not Sex, its Physical needs in general. Sorry for the misunderstanding but he also made it clear that i was asking for too much and that having “Physical Needs” is bad and disgusting.
This doesn’t sound good, if your sister had blacked out and your husband slept with her that’s rape.
They had a fall out recently and he is out of her life. My reason behind the post is I found all this out recently.
Dude is super sleazy but why did your wife feel okay about doing a naked shoot with anyone? He made the gross offer but she said yes and her clothes evaporated. Whatever falls out of this, they are BOTH complicit, not just the creepy dude trying to stealth your relationship.
Do you have statistics for that claim about marriages?
I stay with her bcs i love her and i know she loves me. Maybe she is an oscar worthy actress but she rly loves me thats why im so 50/50 . If you love someone why dont u put effort. I wouldve stayed. I worked 9 hourd tired af and still wanted to see her and didnt even think about not seeing her just bcs im tired
Get tested. Think about how you are feeling in the waiting room before the test. Your probably got it. This is a dealbreaker.
If your ex hears about this hookup, she will assume that all her worries during the relationship were justified.
Also, you're going to offer your “friend” no strings sex? Or are you going to use her crush on you to manipulate sex from her? Her crush on you means that this wont be a casual hook up for her, she will be hurt if you use her for sex and then discard her. Just because you're sad about the break up doesn't mean you can mess with other people's feelings to get your dick wet.
There are other women in the world. Approach other women honestly by saying you're looking for a casual hook up.
I think 4 or 5 photos of you is normal but not 100s, and the name of the folder could be that he exported them and it went into the wrong folder by default. It is the 100s that is weird. Not weird to have a few of you for a bf to stare at and pleasure himself to.
Attachment is hot to get over…even if the relationship is terrible. It's normal to feel very upset when separated from a partner. It's actually a biological process too. Human beings are meant to online in a pack of people…ages ago if humans were separated from their pack of people they would likely die! So nature has made us have big emotional responses to separation. So remember your feelings may not indicate you want to be with your partner. It likely is just separation anxiety.
Guys normally feel ok initially during a break up or separation. It's months later that the pain normally hits them.. when it hits them, it often hits them harder than women…but by that time women are over it. So he might feel fine now or he is faking it to make you feel bad. Either way he likely feel much worse if you stay separated long term.
Use this time to figure out what is best for you. Try to focus on yourself and not on your partner. Take care of yourself and have some fun.
If he's just applying for jobs now that's pretty ridiculous. You should have to have a break from him to get his butt in gear
You play too many video games and grumble when she asks you to go out.
Call the cops and get them to do a welfare check on her. Say she's threatening her life after you just broke up and you're worried for her. That's all ya gotta do man. Her life is hers and yours is yours. Don't let someone manipulate you into staying with them. That's absolutely not how a healthy partnership works.
Block her.
Then stop making friends with women you want to date. And stop trying to date women you're friends with. It makes a hash of everyone's expectations. Ask your three women friends to set you up with someone.
The latter was what I thought of.
All epic adventures happen after 2am.
How exactly did you find out he activated tinder? I'm just curious?
She knows that already.
Cut your losses girl! Not only is it gross, but it’s putting you at risk for UTIs and vaginal infections. Or, god forbid, an eye infection. Imagine, y’all are are getting very hot and heavy, you’ve had your hands all over one another, and you get an eyelash in your eye. You stop for a moment to get it out. And there you go. Pink eye. I’m so grossed out right now. Run, run, run away!
He has trauma…. you have choices. That is the difference.
I’m just seeing all this now but I’m so glad that it sounds like the dad has been booted. I hope it stays that way. I feel bad for the mom who probably had no idea any of this was going on but ? made the right choice immediately in kicking him out. Even if it wasn’t her 18 year old sons girlfriend, I’m guessing this isn’t the first person he’s made passes at if he was that comfortable doing it with his kids girlfriends. He’s probably said stuff to past girlfriends. He’s a creep.
You aren’t being dramatic. Dude is gross. I’m glad you spoke up, that was a brave move.
Well you have answered your own question there- what isn’t a big deal to you IS a big deal to lots of people.
The point is, it’s a huge deal to her and she has expressed that to him now. It wasn’t his fault as her boundaries were not clearly defined, but him doubling down and saying I’m going to do that anyway and I just won’t tell you is very disrespectful of his partner and what hurts her. Particularly as she is a SA survivor. They could easily come to a compromise eg) it’s ok for you to talk to Brian and Steve but please don’t bring it up in front of all my acquaintances.
And yes you’re right it’s an incompatibility, but it seems nuts that he would be willing to hurt over this, or or jeopardise their relationship.
Partner’s pain and humiliation > wanting to chat about it in front of your buddy’s wives / whoever is present in a large group in future
What if the roles were reversed? What if you brought a girl home and she came onto you but nothing happened. You think she would be angry??? I bet she would!!!
“You turned Kevin into an arm floaty, and that's not a fair relationship to Kevin.”
we have really nice, honest and sincere connection.
So you yourself say y'all have a “really nice, honest and sincere connection” but that's not good enough for you? You need him to plaster you all over his social media to make you happy?
Revaluate your priorities.
Yeah that time passed a long while back
Lol him and I are fine… but thanks for caring about him being blocked more than him. We’re gonna have a fun convo about this tomorrow lol. It’s just so easy how small and weird ppl on this is… I’ve been on it little over a month and I’m honestly intrigued. I’m so using to bring around ppl who actually had a life… modelling, music videos, clubbing, owning multiple property… actually living etc…
So this world intrigues me… I could honestly careless what anyone has to say… I’m honestly just bored and intrigued. You’re like a new toy 🙂
You are being an idiot.
Call the police FIRST. Block his number and ask for a restraining order. The moment he makes a threat towards you is the moment all regular communication should stop.
Letting him come over to your house like this is how women get murdered.
If you can tap into your survival instincts and hold on. Safety 1st. Save yourself. Keep playing. Cry when you leave tge house. Return and play the game while planning your escape.
Therapy and an expanded support network. He needs friends/family/support group/therapist etc who can take some of the load off of OP when he needs another person.
I take care of myself to a fault due to my baggage but it sounds to me like he needs better self-soothing strategies as well. A therapist could definitely help him with that but there's also resources live! that I'd be exploring if I was him.
Not even Pearl?
If it's any consolation, but both being male, children are impossible. Unless, not understanding basic biology is among the field of red flags.
The past is the past. It’s part of who we are and nobody should judge us for it (especially if we have regrets).
Pick a person who will accept all of you and not judge you. This is shady and you’re being treated poorly.
She still used you. She's fucking around with someone her children's age and dodging every question you have.
She just wanted to fuck around and is now realizing that she just did it to blow of steam and led you on. Move on. Block her if you have to.
(Also a man married to a man.)
I’ve been there myself: with someone who I love, was very compatible with, shared goals, but no organic spark, no long term sexual chemistry, no romance, not the level of intimacy I wanted. Open relationship an all (which I loved). Eventually, I realized I wanted more than a companionate relationship and owed it myself really try and find romance.
Does it feel more like you’re living with an ex-lover who is like a perfect roommate, with a lot of love and trust?
You can find all of that, plus connection and communication and sexual chemistry and romantic love.
Stand a wee bitsy on Sarah's toesies.
Hell nah burn that shit to the ground
You can’t make this stuff up! Divorce, cheater guy should pony up to take care of kids, you should move away from this and have joint custody if thats what you desire, if not cut all ties with all involved in this mess
You can indeed. And some of what you might learn, you might wish you didn't know.
There's a reason why posts about body counts are not allowed here.
He has already lived his 20s and 30s and didn't have a child then. He doesn't want to have children. You are still young and should get with someone on the same page as you. What you want is important too. He is selfish to keep you around without fulfilling your needs. Also the age gap doesn't help.
I don’t think it’s fair of you to keep your wife in the house with the kids 24/7 and not let her have a life. She’s allowed to have friends. But at the same time, she is showing signs of cheating. I don’t think she’s cheated but I do think it’s heading in that direction. At least an emotional affair. You can talk to her about boundaries and how you’re uncomfortable with her spending so much time with this guy. She doesn’t have to cut him off completely but at least put boundaries. And you should start doing more things for her. Take her out on dates, go on trips etc. If things are still not improving with sex, maybe you guys can go to marriage counseling.
Idk, everyone says that, but they either don’t know the people around them or just have a selection bias, because if you are honest enough and online long enough, you realize that, like I said, 95% of the population says catty things to their close confidants and humans as a whole really are not immune from having crappy thoughts.
Hell, I can look at most peoples comment histories and see plenty of catty comments. The only difference is being able to at least acknowledge it.
You'll never outrun a bad diet. You can exercise 3x a day but if you overeat/eat like shit you'll never lose weight. Tracking calories and ensuring you take in fewer than you expend is the only way to lose weight.
He was a 26 year old man dipping into the high school pool … you were 17.
That tells you all you need to know.
This is a codependency issue. It ultimately results in resentment on the side of the “giver”. Seek a therapist who can help you with boundaries and being assertive.
He seems very emotionally invested in her still and unwilling to let go. Until he works through his feelings it's in your best interest to leave and keep your distance.
You hang out in public she will figure it out
I'm 31, my fiancé is 24, I've never felt more sexy and loved than being with him. I'm very far from perfect, but he loves every imperfection, and tells me I'm naked, beautiful and sexy, regardless of the scars I have or the fat I hold. Your partner should always bring you up, love you for who you are and what you've been through. If they don't, they are not the one.
He was being orders of magnitude worse