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She never forgot, she was hoping you would.
Yeah jfc, the fact that this guy has traveled with women friends but somehow stewed for years over an innocent friendship and snapped (or just suddenly snapped, I don’t know which is worse) and ended an engagement— a declaration you want to spend the rest of your life with someone— over a day of movie-binging and snacks and hangouts with a childhood friend who’s around so rarely this was the first in-person contact for their entire relationship.
People can voice concerns about anything. People can even voice insecurities that don’t make sense as long as they own them in a mature way and communicate like an adult.
I’m in a monogamish relationship— we’ve both dated open before and are open to it, but are monogamous now. We’re comfortable with having sex with other people, actively have light sexting-buddies (that’s monogamous to us, lol), the whole thing. We also have to communicate and ask questions, and it’s no-stakes, no-penalty if we’re both being fair and honest about our feelings and boundaries.
There is no valid reason to flip out and break off an engagement based on unfounded jealousy and embarrassment at other people’s gossip without having had a single level conversation in the lead up.
That’s a lot to ask to expect OP to be able to come back from that. I wouldn’t, personally, because the trust I have with my partner is founded on our stability and care in how we relate to each other. If I suddenly found my partner might chew me out and break things off because he jumped to conclusions, that trust would be toast even if he admitted the conclusion was wrong.
Yeah, and I’m sure this will be a difficult conversation but be as empathetic and tactful about it as you can.
Thank you
That's just being unfaithful. That online/offline thing is bullshit. When i was single, i was really into seeking attention online, different apps, random girls blah blah blah. But i deleted all that shit once my relationship got serious. I even put her fingerprint in my phone. She knows she's welcome to go through it. Which was scary at first, but it's really relieving when you know your partner isn't looking for trouble because some are. But anyway, my point is he needs to bend a little. You seem like you're okay with him having female friends and being active on social media and all that. He should at least be hearing your concerns and drawing lines because you sound much nicer than most. If he can't do that you should consider where he really puts you in his list of values.
Masturbation and sex aren’t the same, there’s no energy exchange and no worrying about performance or the way your body looks or smells. It’s just a release, and you clearly view it differently.
For many people it’s not a placeholder for sex as they are different things and the desire to do one does not translate to the desire to do the other.
Your boyfriend has a very rape-ish personality.
He lacks imagination.
Simple . Dump him .
I honestly am fine with just being friends
I think you need to dig down into this “honesty” a little, because you clearly are not fine just being friends – and that's normal! You have romantic feelings for her and you want more, which is why you feel jealous and upset when she talks about other people. What you're feeling is totally normal, but you need to stop pretending that you are fine with how things are when you're not. It's a recipe for heartbreak.
Your friendship as it was went out the door when you started developing feelings. You could rebuild a friendship down the line, but you need to get over her first. I guarantee she knows how you feel, but she has told you in no uncertain terms that she doesn't want to date you for real. If you're unable to back out of prom without causing major issues, go just as friends without any cuddling or relationship-esque behavior. Then take some distance from the friendship and if you have a strong bond you'll reconnect in the future when you've gotten over her. Otherwise (and most likely), you'll just look back on this as a high school crush.