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I think this relationship is toxic because she doesn’t know what you need in order to overcome your addiction. From what I understand of both of your posts is that there’s no communication of what you need to handle and deal with your addiction. So unless you’re ready to have a serious conversation about what is happening in your therapy and what are actions you need to be taking and what she can do to help, you just need a break up with her.
Fundamentally, a porn addiction is because you’re driving dopamine from watching porn and masturbating to it. Doing so makes sexual acts a coping mechanism for something else. Your wife, or any future partner, does not want a relationship with somebody who is going to view sex as a coping mechanism. Sex should be an experience between two people expressing their affection for one another. So if you’re only viewing sex as a coping mechanism in order to produce dopamine in order to feel good, you shouldn’t be in a relationship or in the least sex shouldn’t be part of a relationship until you have a healthier relationship with sex. I feel like your therapist should’ve gone over this kind of stuff with you.
You’re on Reddit complaining about your relationship when the majority of the faults in your relationship is because you won’t let go of this particular way you view/experience sex.
So you told him you were concerned about his emotional maturity and he told you to hit the gym…….. so you could be thinner, even though you're already
on the thinner side
What?! That's a dreadful response. You're more than your looks, and it sounds like you're really making an effort to be as supportive to him as you can… You're looking for emotional substance, and when you ask for vulnerable truth he reveals his interests at heart are superficial.