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Languages: en
Birth Date: 2001-10-07
Body Type: bodyTypeCurvy
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
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Most guys kind of like it when a woman gives off a strong vibe they she thinks they are losers, so Iâve got nothing.
What is wrong with you that you can't hear what people are telling you?
LIke, stop for a second, read what EVERYONE is telling you.
Youâre either all-in or all-out. Heâs right to drop you.
I wouldnât tell them until itâs serious and even then Iâd write it into a pre nup.
This is no longer a relationship.
This is a car headed off a cliff and heâs driving. Get out of the car before he sends you both over.
Calling this a porn or sex addiction seems a little over the top. As far as we know, he masturbates once a day. That is very far from addiction status. It's not like he's masturbating every hour. His wife and you are blowing this way out of proportion. None of this is a big deal.
Youâve been with someone for half a year and theyâve already resorted to demeaning you with name calling and you canât make yourself tell them that they make you feel special because they donât.
I think you know the answer here but ill add some more words, from the perspective of a married mom to 4 girls.
You are special. Everyone is special. The partner that chooses you should at the very least be able to value your unique specialness. Itâs okay to have specific needs and itâs GREAT to know what they are and even better to be able to communicate them. Youâve done all that, which is a gift. Any partner would be lucky to have such transparency.
Iâm not going to guess whatâs going on with your boyfriend bc honestly? It could be a lot of things. It could be coming from toxic media messages geared for guys just age around partnering, or it could be immaturity, it could be abusiveâŚbut all of those things have one thing in common: insecurity. A person who doesnât feel secure in themselves is incapable of being a source of security for others. He canât light a flame for you when his is burned down.
Holy shit. He made a disgusting and disrespectful joke about you and to add insult to injury he never even acknowledged your expression of hurt. What in the actual fuck is wrong with him? Sorry but the only pig in this scenario is HIM.
Itâs not always âeasy goingâ. Sometimes itâs boundaries and self esteem. Coming from an âeasy goingâ person who is likely older than you and has a lifelong issue with allowing this sort of thing đ
I say that you should say no thank you.
Favorites, sure. Kinks, no.
It wouldnât, typo.
Everyone sucks here. Donât hang in the bad parts. Donât date girls that instigate fights and donât hang out with people who are going to pull guns on you.
Youâre mom is insane. Does the things she says to you sound like things someone who loves someone would say? Would you go around saying the things she says? Would you say those things to your own daughter? Youâre mom should be ashamed of herself.
UPTADE/ He came at my place earlier today to take his dvd, he stayed for an hour. When I first told him I was sorry he said it was too tale. But after he huged me a couple of time and both cried ( I definitely cried more than him lol) he said he needed some time to think about it. He told me he knows I didn't had any bad intentions, that I was just a bit insecure and acted because of my insecurities. When I asked him if he was just mad at me or upset he started crying and told me I really hurted him. He even asked me if I was in love because I was acting really dramatic with the crying, I told him I wasn't. It's very hot but I'm going to try not to text him, to leave him some space. I hope be will text me soon to tell me about his decision. I really really hope he can give me a second chance. He went from “I don't want to see you again” to “we'll talk about it, but it'll be different” to “I need time to think about it” so yeah I really hope so. Even if he made it clear that after he moved house, we won't really see eachother a lot, I'm still willing to see him until he's moving. I really love him a lot, he's extraordinary, open minded and affectionate. I hope he will realise I'm very attached to him. I will try to hold my texts back lol Don't know when I should told him about the secret note I left him, I want to give him some space. I hope he will miss me and not forget about me.
alright i'll keep that in mind
This just sounds like you two are on different paths.
Find someone who's going the same direction as you.
Good luck! I hope things work out well for the two of you.
Ah sounds good! Thank you for the advice! I appreciate it!
First things first. Take a moment to breathe and grieve the relationship. Then you lawyer up WITHOUT HER KNOWING and get everything sorted out. This includes what she is entitled to as part of the divorce and custody agreement. Then you file for divorce and give her the papers. There's nothing you can say to her apart from “I know what you did” when you hand the papers over because she's obviously not going to stop seeing him.
We have talked about it and he said some of the girls was just business talk when they met or trying to do a project together and with his ex as well. Which is partly checks out from the messages.altho there are ones when he was meeting with a girl and he said he is inside the building and the girl said she is one stop away then nothing just him sending her a tiktok after 3 days. And when i checked pur messages from that time he actually disappeared the whole night without saying anything and i was very worried and he texted me in the morning saying sorry he was stressed about work stuff and was walking outside till the morning. When i asked him he said he didnt even met the girl in the end cause she cancelled last minute by calling him and he said i can contact the girl and ask her myself if i want to… He agreed then that he would tell about me to his female friends. I have waited and some other things came up. I have found a letter from his ex wife from the time we already were together saying she wishes him happy birthday and wish they have more quality time together and as they could not meet that month.first when I asked about the letter as it is in a different language he said is from work but when I took to Google translate he confessed that was from his ex…. that she still wanted him back even tho before he said she moved on. Then some time later I came across his wedding ring too that he said months ago he got rid of …. he said he did send it back but then his ex gave it back to him and he just forgot about it. I asked how many stuff he had here from his ex that I will come across as we talked about me moving there full time on paper too but I already was here every day. He said he dont know maybe a few but he will get rid of it. Weeks went by and he said to only 2 friend about me one of which I didn't even asked cause I already knew that he told them about me long time ago. Then as he made me some space in the closet to put my stuff in I came across a bag that had a lock on it. I thought it was weird and again I know i should not have but given that all that happened I opened it and there it was a bunch of pictures and toys and memories with his ex. So important to mention they divorced 3 years ago and he moved houses twice so he did know he brought this stuff. But then is saw… pictures with him and his ex together posing the korean style photo booth pictures aftee the time we were together. I know that cause he aa growing out his hair and he had a hoodie he bought during our relationship. Wheb I confronted him he said is just was a complicated situation because of the project they were doing together that he eventually dropped because they were keep backtracking on promises…. but I felt betrayed. He said he was sorry and he made bad decisions I thought all this that all the good things still outweighed the bad and I wanted to trust his word and he said he will take the conciquiences (?) For his actions. He said the last time he spoke to his ex he told his ex he is seeing someone and the ex told him thst she tried too but honestly she just wants to kill anyone that gets with him That creeper me out but he said don't worry he would protect me. Yet I had to basically ask him to maybe don't have an ex like that connected to his instagram cause they were still following each other.
There are a lot more other things that I can tell if needed but essentially for today what happened is we were in bed and he got an instagram notification from one of the girls on isntagram that she sent him a video. Which then prompted him to open tha chat I looked away but then he said oh don't worry I told her about u. He proceeds to scroll and show me the pic he sent of me to her but I saw they chatted a lot like there was whole novels such as mine there. So I asked what it was about and he just said “is private you can't read it” And I said what it is private you chat with this other girl that you can't show me? And it weirded me out. And yes that being said I told him multiple time he can look at my phone I'm not turning away closing apps when he walks past even I told him while we were in distance when I ran into my ex or when others hit on me because I believe in transparency and have nothing to hide. Now I understand not everyone is like that and I honestly tried my best not even look but this weirded me out. I tried to ask nicely but he didn't want to show. Then he said that I always want more and more and too much . When I feel like the whole reason we got to this point is because when I trusted him he hid a lot of things and I had to find out. I think I always tried to be understanding even with the gogogirls I said ok if your friend is trying to get with one of them I understand he is following them too but it bothered me that I had to ask and he didn't tell me from himself even tho we agreed that he would.
Long story short he said if he shows me than he needs to gain something out if it too That then I can't talk or ask about these things for 6 months. Ect and I dont know anymore. Is not a win and loose situation for me . I just wanted to build and honest relationships. While we were long distance and he was sick or depressed I would uber eats him food and he always said how much he appreciated me that no one ever cared about him this much when he was sick or not feeling well. But then what now? I'm here every day I could see last week something bothering him I asked but he didn't wanted to say so I didn't push it just tried to cheer him up and buy him snacks. We planning a trip together too then I found out he complaining about his problems to other girls and says to me is private? Shouldn't he share his problems with me? Am I the crazy one for wanting this? Or not wanting him to keep secrets like this with others girls? I have some male friends too but I been always transparent and show messages or tell to him about them. Is this really bad on my side?
I'm so conflicted. Cause at one hand he did go behind my back and betrayed my trust but on the other hand I don't know maybe I'm over reacting? Given everything he also talked to me every day and he did travel to meet me in other countries. And since we been together every day he did wanted me to stay here.
I really dont know anymore.we share a lot of same values and have similar backgrounds so I always thought we were a great match. But honestly pain's me that I have been always supportive of him and he still turns to others like this when he knows my history with being cheated on.
Please let me know if any more clarification needed there are few details that I have ot said but I guess these are the main ones.
If lying is your boundary, then it's your boundary and that's ok. However, I would assert that there are different types of lies and this doesn't seem to be a lie meant to manipulate you or done with malice. It seems like the type of lie that he told just because he didn't want you to know about that particular part of his life and that's okay.
Ask yourself how this particular situation actually hurts you and if that hurt is worth ending an otherwise great decade long relationship.
Itâs simply not a priority for him. For him, itâs not a big deal. For you it is a big deal. Whatâs your standard of clean versus his? Is there anything else he could do in the relationship to contribute in a different way to make you feel more valued? You said when he does do things itâs not the way youâd like it, so you may find yourself to be critiquing and then doing it over again yourself. Thatâs just extra negative energy that you donât need. What if there was more date nights, weekends away, or simply getting out of the house together? Or if itâs a deal breaker for you, set that boundary and stick with it. Move out and heâll find out quick how much you do.
My wife and I will discuss people we see or meet that are attractive or whatever, but it certainly doesnât become a 10 minute ramble followed by one of us acting on the attraction to get closer to them, especially if your feelings were hurt and she knows it. Gotta talk to her now and figure out where youâre at.