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Break up with that pussy
I think it's time to consider couples' therapy, and possibly for him to consider individual therapy. Also, has your boyfriend had a thorough medical exam lately? There could be a medical issue that's affecting him.
It seems as if you both communicate, but for some reason he does not fully open up to you, especially about why he does not follow through with what you two have agreed on. There may be something else going on here that he's not comfortable talking to you about – possibly a psychological or medical issue. Especially when the changes in his behavior have been so rapid.
Also, are you two generally physically affectionate outside of sex? Maybe both of you need to step back a bit and concentrate on being physical without sex. If the only time you are physical with each other is for sex, that may be an issue because he feels obliged to perform every time there is any physical affection, and it's causing anxiety. Just a thought.
I agree with you that if he wants a femdom relationship there needs to be a safe-word and some ground rules decided upon in advance. This is not something to enter into lightly, and simply “forcing” sex on him is not likely to improve the situation between you, especially if there's a problem to be addressed.
Best of luck to both of you.
Dump him, he is never going to leave that basement. He will ask you to move in first.
You say in a reply to a comment that you lied to hopefully not have a bigger fight over your BFs insecurities.
Question – do you make a habit of lying? And if so is this the reason for his insecurities?
If they are, then he’s probably not going to come back, and sorry but you caused it.
If you don’t make a habit of lying, and his insecurities are just him not being emotionally mature enough to handle a relationship, then you should end it as you deserve better.
…. thats the thing with 'trust' : you have to work for it, not just say that you want it.
Why do you think that everyone who tells you he goes clubbing on the weekend is lying to you? What possible motive do multiple sources have to lie to you?
Why don’t you just ask whoever it is who sees him there to take a pic?