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just big ego things
Although I agree with you, now is not the time to straight up say no. When he is out of her house, changes the locks, then she can have a talk with him in public or via phone. But right now it could be dangerous for her, which is why I said just lie. We don’t know what kind of piece of shit OP’s bf is. Lots of cases in my area in the past year of boyfriends, husbands, exes killing the spouse/SO and then it’s being ruled a suicide or homicide without enough evidence to convict the ex. Or murder/suicide is also happening. So as far as I’m concerned, safety first.
Every two days? Seriously? Its clear he has nowhere near moved on with his ex. Its a bad idea to marry this incomplete man. He is not a real man, because he is choosing n settling for second choice (marrying you) rather than one he truly loves (his ex). So he is lying to himself, not a man of true conviction. The marriage wont be a happy one if it happened.
I suggest enjoy it while it lasted. Because he is man of your dreams, clearly he is your first choice. But you need to decide whether you want to put up with a substandard husband whose heart, dont fully belong to you.
The best acid test is to broke off with him. And see if he realize that you are the one he loves the most, or he is actually happier n feeling relieved after you are gone, as the one he love the most is still the ex. I say, only proceed to marriage if its the former case (after broke off, he realize you are the one he lovex the most and cant and dont want to lose you). Give it some time after break up to let the discovery process happen to see which one. Make sure he doesnt want you back purely for ego reasons (how dare she broke off with me, i will get her back so i can dump her instead).
Yes, you are correct. However she will not admit to it no matter what you do.
You shouldn't waste your time on her, if she lying to you she can be cheating on you as well.
The question here is why he feels the need to be friends with and go on holiday with someone so openly disrespectful to his partner. I’ve been with my husband 16 years and I wouldn’t be comfortable in OP’s situation either. The difference is my husband would never put me in that position, he’s cut off people that shit talk me to him and people that had unrequited feelings for him a long time ago and I did the same.
This one holiday is more important to him then his partner. Going on holiday with this woman is more important to him then his partner. OP isn’t wrong for being uncomfortable here BUT she is going to have to make a choice.
Thanks, yeah it’s time for me to fall back
Yes he did, hopefully we can discuss it again soon because at this point he isn’t ready to talk about it. Now I’m feeling sort of hurt that he would just assume I would be fine with it/ was surprised when I wasn’t comfortable. It could be visa related! If that’s the case he should tell me though, but still leaves me in the same position. I’ll look into the immigration process though, that could help to explain it