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You are in another abusive relationship. Please leave him, get the therapy you need and on-line a good life.
To be honest it doesn’t matter. If you need an exact number on my body count I want to know how many times you watch porn and or masturbated. I don’t know my husbands nor do I care and would it change anything really. When you truly love someone that shit doesn’t matter. You never have to be the same person you were yesterday if you don’t want to be. That’s just my opinion
Tell her how it makes you feel and ask questions, but don't guilt her. Frame it as “I want you to feel good, what can I do to make you feel good?”
you've mad her orgasm in the past – ask her what you use to do that you don't do anymore? Are you sure you used to make her orgasm? Tell her you are open to anything.
If she’s yelling another man’s name, stop helping her finish. That’s such an easy thing to not do, at this point it seems intentional that she’s thinking of him while you’re going to town on her. The moment she says his name, just stop what you’re doing. You don’t deserve to be her tool to get off to the thought of someone else.
Don't go.
Move back with my parents when I’m 27 though?
Exactly! You do not risk your children being abused and receiving life long trauma for a chance that it MIGHT not happen. SPOILER ALERT! It will happen and she will very likely scare them into silence by telling them bo one will believe them and that if she could beat you and get away with it then she won't have any trouble beating them and getting away with it. They may eventually tell on her but by then very lasting damage will be done and you never fully recover from that, especially when its done by 1 of the people who're supposed to protect you from it.
I believe OP is a man. And they shared the 3 blue lemonades with their partner. 6-7 drinks in a long night isn’t too much for many men.
Just know that you’re daughter sees all of this and is cataloguing it away in her brain. She knows you’re choosing your wife over her. She knows things are different because her stepmother doesn’t like her. She KNOWS how her stepmother feels about her, even if this horrid woman has never said anything out loud in front of, or to, your daughter. It’s decision time. You can continue to choose your wife and stand by as your daughter does low or no contact with you or you can stand up for your daughter and either demand your wife attend couples counseling/therapy/whatever to figure this out or you’re gone.
Seriously, I spent years in therapy because of the way my stepmother treated me when I was the same age as your daughter. I left home as soon as I could there have been times when I’ll go years without speaking to my father. Guess what? He didn’t do anything about reigning in his wife either.
Do stories like this when used as a propaganda tool cause damage?
If the answer is yes, then me pointing out doubts is absolutely fine.
As I said, in case this is real, op is absolutely innocent and the people around her are insane.
Cool. What are you asking advice on?
What your husband calls narcissism is actually defensiveness. It is a trait narcissists have, but so do a lot of other people. Therapy can help with that, but if it’s not an option google defensiveness in relationships and solutions for it. Also google conflict resolution skills and fixed vs growth mind set as that’s often what’s needed to get over the behavior. And just fyi, defensiveness can be from past poor treatment but can also be in reaction to a partner who also does things that aren’t healthy. So make sure to pay attention to if your defensiveness is in reaction to past circumstances that no longer are relevant, or in reaction to your current situation, where then you’d need your partner to make improvements as well, I’m order for the relationship to be healthier.
What part of this dynamic is actually 'okay'?
Why did want the separation?
Im not. I literally called myself shit.
You did the right thing by breaking up. Saying she would want a poly relationship after the break would end and possibility of it working out.