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OP, he’s projecting. Please just leave him.
Firstly make sure you get a dna test. Secondly, she is manipulating you, by saying if you see someone else she won't let them be in the baby's life is a push to get you to get back with her. If you end up with someone else and she tries to block you from seeing the baby (if it is yours) take her to court and get access
So how long before he showed up at your door did his wife kick him out?
A year-long affair at that.
This might be what he's whining about. He might feel this is a rejection of him. Or, he simply doesn't have the will to be sober, so he's resentful.