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Yeah Iam thinking of meeting him again and taking things slow. I just don’t want to come off desperate by making the first move. Moreover Iam worried he might have imagined his first time to be different and I might ruin it
Yeah, OPs wife isn't ready to be in a serious relationship. She has way too much to work on within herself. Besides, never go to therapy with someone who is or potentially is abusive. It's just giving them ammunition against their victim. Most couples counselors aren't trained in recognizing emotional abuse.
Yeah, OPs wife isn't ready to be in a serious relationship. She has way too much to work on within herself. Besides, never go to therapy with someone who is or potentially is abusive. It's just giving them ammunition against their victim. Most couples counselors aren't trained in recognizing emotional abuse.
Thanks for this! Finally an empathetic person on this site.
For clarification, we used to see each other twice a week (work from home dates, a weekend outing, etc.) and she isn't losing interest because we're all over each other when together in person. We genuinely enjoy each other. We just on-line 40 min away and it's not always convenient to meet up.
She can't always schedule a set day every week because sometimes a client meeting is scheduled out of the blue and our plans would scramble. For important dates, she does put her foot down, but lately I think she's equally excited and stressed by new opportunities at work that there's only so much RAM in her headspace lol.
I know there's no guarantee with this, but how can I make sure she doesn't lose interest as soon as I tell her I might lose interest? Because I still love her, and it's not interest I'm losing. It's fuel. It's worry that down the road I'll be starting to fantasize what it'd be like to have someone make me feel as much of a priority. I just want it to be her, and I know that she has that potential because she's done it for months before.
She’s only out of a job if people see her posting it around. Otherwise, who knows how they got there?
Man. I was totally on your side until “she’s obviously insecure about her age.” Ugh man. No. Just no. A person can think that ageism, sexism, and rape are all bad without being “insecure.”
That's a shame you can't block the numbers. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I believe you can get a “foreign restraining order” in some states but I'm not 100% sure in this situation. You could speak with a civil harrassment attourney to get their advise. Best of luck. You deserve safety from this man's harrassment.
Some of the best advice I ever got was “What other people think of me…is none of my business.”
You may still be too young and too concerned about your social status to perceive the wisdom of that axiom. But it's basically an encouragement to relax and just live your best authentic life, which some people will applaud and others will criticize. You can't please everyone, so at least try to please yourself.
FWIW I think you're right to be concerned that J and C talk negatively about you behind your back. Gossips gotta gossip, and when you're not with them, chances are good that you are right up there on the menu, along with V and M. If you felt uncomfortable about the way they dished dirt about V and M behind their backs but then turned friendly and joked with them in class, you should have distanced yourself from them once you discovered their true character.
But does it really matter? I'd be really careful about sharing anything with J and C that you don't want the entire world to know, but otherwise if you still enjoy their company, it's OK to keep hanging with them. You might want to track down your old friends A, V, and M and see how they are doing also, since J and C may have influenced you to distance yourself for no good reason other than their own need for friendship drama and vicious gossip. And nothing says that you can't expand your social circle in order to find new and better friends for your adult life, people who have no desire to criticize friends behind their backs. That might be the best solution of all.
Highly recommend you live together for AT LEAST a year before marriage. Living together is a whole different level for a relationship, and will tell you if marriage is the right step. If you cannot live together peacefully, the marriage is doomed.
This is a very smart way to go about it!
I thought people might think so. I guess I got too mad in my post, kind of venting I guess.
I don't get the heavy tattoo thing. I mean I get having a few tattoos that mean something to you, the passing of loved ones, surviving cancer/addiction, stuff like that but the sheer amount of people with just stupid or horrible tattoos is staggering. You notice it especially with e-girls they want a new tatt & so they get it seemingly without thought about what they want & get something that look terrible or the artwork is terrible or makes no sense. Nothing wrong with tattoos just seems so many people get them just to get them.
Well…might as well rip off this bandaid now. No sense waiting until you guys are ready to start trying for a baby.
I don't see how “cannot handle the current situation” is remedied by divorce, rather than by finding the changes needed to make things right again.
But probably I'm not willing to see my role here as malicious or negligent, and you are, and that's a flaw that would remain in the relationship forever.
He wants closure as to why I dated other people and not him.
Your relationship is doomed. Literally, just break up now. And do NOT get back with him in the future because if you do he will not only want closure for high school, he will want closure for you breaking up with him over the high school non-issue. He has problems that are not going to be solved regardless of what response you give him.
I agree with you. Set her up in a room or small apartment for X number of months, after which she will be responsible for taking over. Help her find a job and resources because you can’t do it all. Be a support but not her only support.
Updateme!
Lol its ok. I honestly feel like a dumbest for having to second guess myself and ask reddit in the first place. All criticism is welcome. Thank you.
I really strongly think it's because she feels she doesn't choose to be his mother/stepmother. The “choice” has been taken away from her so she made this choice, she didn't ask you to choose because she knows how cruel and immoral it is to make you choose your son against her and your other children. She knows that no one should make that kind of demand anyway.
Although I think she should probably see a therapist herself, to deal with her shock as well as other issues that she is not open yet.
You should definitely leave in, I was in a very toxic relationship previously every time me and my ex had an argument he threatened me and would always say “I’ll bang you out” he never did “bang me out” during the argument but one day I was at the pub with my friends that he didn’t like me meeting up with, he saw my location and stormed into the pub and grabbed me by arm and tried to drag me out, thankfully the bouncer stopped him. I saw my black and purple bruised arm in the mirror the next day and knew I was done. Leave OP and stay safe and away from him and make sure you keep your friends and family updated in case anything escalates.
It’s also concerning he would keep a large amount of cash inside the house and not in a bank or savings account, so if you don’t know where he got the cash from and why he isn’t putting it into a bank account he is probably doing something shady especially if he is concerned about losing his money over your safety.
She cheated on you with some random dude? Met him, texted or called and decided/ planned to spend the night with him. I am a one strike type of person when it comes to cheating but this blows my mind. I get being smooth talked after drinking at a bar or club and making a bad decision.i even get letting yourself get too close to a neighbor or coworker and doing something stupid Still unacceptable but i see how it could happen. You owe her nothing walk away.