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Emotionally cheating for many people is just as bad as physical cheating. The fact that she's crossing obvious boundaries is a sign that she doesn't respect you and cares more about her own needs. I'm really sorry you're going through this! She's falling for the idea of this man and not appreciating her husband. Remember that she doesn't even need to be cheating if you're unhappy in a relationship that's enough to ask for help and seek out a professional who can help you deal with what's going on because you can't keep this just to yourself. Best of luck!
So my suggestion is you don’t bring up sex again for a while. Make sure you’re picking up after yourself in the home. Do some chores you don’t usually do, take the kids out alone some Saturdays or Sunday’s and encourage your wife to reconnect with her friends. Motherhood can be lonely.
Plan dates, including babysitting. Don’t ask for suggestions, just surprise her with an outing you know she’ll like. Compliment her (motherhood makes a lot Of women feel unattractive) and commit to this over a handful of months. Don’t mention sex.
Think kind of “take charge” activity can really reignite spark in a marriage and encourage intimacy in a way that asking someone for sex all the time just doesn’t. Try this, and if it doesn’t work (and it won’t straight away, it takes time) consider whether her libido is health related.
This is what you get for dating a wayyy older guy…they will do everything to control you.
Einstein….did you miss the part where OP literally said she immediately went to him 1st. She discovered a situation in their relationship and went straight to her man. She's now seeking outside perspective because the weasel made her doubt her own feelings. This is what normal people do.
I think this is wise. Would just screenshots be enough? I don’t have access to his phone because he regularly changes his password ? but I have access to his email for now. He has online transactions but they are coded, obviously. But I’ve seen emails confirming Tinder downloads/subscription. Is this enough?
I’d say have some self respect and move on. She cheated and you even said she is willing to sleep with other people she wants to have like her. Even if you are open to the idea of a non-monogamous relationship she still went behind your back and cheated and it caused another relationship to be ruined as a result. She wants you in her life for the stability it seems and that’s it.
Leaving him would be your responsibility!
I'm stating facts but I do understand your lack of arguments here.
Get a better hobby and try leaving the house occasionally.
Just to add i saw that y’all have known each other since the age of 13 and that is honestly a lot to throw away but it u ever need anyone to talk to im always free im20F? I trust and believe that whatever decision you chose it’ll will the best one ??
maybe next time he gets you mad kick and hit him in the head. i’m sure he wouldn’t like it. people like him won’t change, id seriously consider if you want to be with an animal abuser. who’s to say he won’t treat your kids or even you like that when he gets mad.
I went through something similar, and early on I thought all the same things as you, but it’s not true. You can spend a lot of time with someone and not fight. What matters is how you handle talking to each other. Arguments are rooted in discontent and my problems stemmed from the fact we couldn’t communicate effectively. One side would explain why they are feeling one way, while another would just get defensive and argumentative, which leads to a fight and the problem not getting resolved but getting bigger and buried. If one side can’t communicate effectively, the effort from the other will just turn to discontent and the fighting will get worse.
My advice is to find what is causing these arguments. Is it jealousy from a break of trust? Is a partner anxious and wants to act out occasionally? Talk about it and draw boundaries on how you expect a response.
My other advice is to break-up if you can’t figure out what the real issue is.