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Don’t we all have a fetish? One of the reasons I married my wife is because she’s tall, and I love me some tall women. I even told her that. Does that make it weird, or that I don’t love her? His fetish is unique, so maybe that’s why it feels weird or off? Idk man. It sounds like husband really loves OP based off everything he does for her. I hope he keeps it up
Stop wasting your time and hers right now. I have no met a woman who did not want kids and changed her mind and then did not regret it
I never understood the whole 'my friend likes them, so I can't ask them out even though I like them too mentality. This attitude does a few things. 1. Makes you devalue/ ignore your feelings. Why do your feelings mean less? 2.Makes the decision for her who she can go out with? Has your friend asked you out yet? Maybe she would prefer you ask her out, maybe she prefers him. Maybe she like you both but since neither of you are doing anything, nothing is happening.
Just ask her out. If she says no, that's perfectly fine. It's up to your friend to ask her out. You are only responsible for your actions. So take your shot.
Also, for the other girl- please don't ask her put just because she likes you and your friends think you should. You clearly aren't interested.. No girl wants to be 2nd choice or a pity date.
How much do you sell them for. I’m broke and asking for myself lol
I'm not obsessed. It's just an intrusive thought.
I don't see the sister often at all actually. My girlfriend is from Japan and her family/sister lives there still. We met through university in the US.
You need to forgive him for comforting her? Really?
You can't force him to do something he doesn't want to do. I'm in a somewhat similar situation with my husband but his problem is his testicles. I've been asking for 3 years for him to see someone and dispite being hospitalised for it recently, he had no plans to do anything about it. I booked an appointment for him to see a doctor for a referral because he kept saying he doesn't have time to book it himself but whether he goes or not is up to him. If he wants a monogamous relationship he will go or he will have to settle for an open relationship or divorce.
Yes it does make her one. She just leaves when she has no more use from him. Who is she going to abandon next when things get too hot?
I would love to buy a home, unfortunately it's not feasible :(. Thank you for your advice though, it would be a great idea to see a couples therapist.
you don’t. find a new boyfriend
Not to say what your daughter did was right but it does seem like she was the only one who had to make any sacrifice for the decision you made.
That just happens to some men I don’t think it means you’re “bad in bed” it can just be a one off thing. I wouldn’t not see other people due to this.
There’s a lot going on here.
Why would you continue to date someone who clearly wasn’t ready to date, and didn’t pay you the respect you felt you deserved. I get how a baby changes things, but realistically, a kid growing up in an unhappy marriage is a kid who learns to be unhappy. Much better a kid who grows up with two parents who aren’t together. And if you’re not together, you can raise your son the way you see fit during your time. If you wanted it, you’d likely get 50-50 time. That’s the way it goes in the US these days. I’m not a lawyer, but my understanding is that unless there’s something seriously wrong with your ability to parent / provide a safe and appropriate home, judges are strongly biased towards 50-50. It’s not a “she’ll get custody, she’s mom” thing. But that’s legal advice, and I’m not a lawyer.
It sounds like her ex is controlling and narcissistic. I’ve seen this sort of thing a lot. You’re right, that the best thing for her and their kid is for her to keep communication to a minimum and force him to parent or to give up custody – when she rewards him with the attention he craves, she teaches him that the constant hassling her works. When she doesn’t, she teaches him that it doesn’t. It’s totally possible that he’ll then act out and ignore his daughter, but the truth is she’s going to see who he really is some day, and the earlier the better.
It really sounds like she needs therapy, for herself. Not just to be able to deal with her ex, but to prioritize taking care of herself. It also sounds like you could use couples therapy.
To me, you sound kind of controlling. I can’t put my finger on it – it’s in your word choice and tone. But I hear someone who feels like the right parenting choices lean heavily on punishment, or children become entitled. “Spare the rod, spoil the child”, that sort of thing. I think that your right to fear entitlement, but that sending out strong negative signals is a poor way to do it, particularly in a “two very different homes” sort of scenario. Instead, I’d lean more into practical consequences that mirror the ones they’ll face as adults. Don’t like what’s for dinner? That’s fine – it’s totally okay to choose not to eat, but you’ll likely be hungry later. Don’t want to do household responsibilities? That’s not okay, and to illustrate what happens when you don’t, we’re going to not do a household fun thing / some household public good you try on will be denied you for a time (streaming services, cellphone, internet are great examples of options). Similar consequences for failing to behave in a respectful way. Stuff like that – nothing too heavy handed, always explained calmly, without anger. Never “I’m frustrated with other stuff so I’m going to lash out at you because I can’t deal with the stuff that’s really frustrating me”. It’s honesty really, really naked, both because of the discipline and creativity, and because the consequences sometimes create a lot more parenting work for you – you’ve gotta do stuff or do a little work to help the kid do stuff themselves when you take away the tech-based-entertainment (maybe not so much for the teen). That’s how I do it, anyhow.
I think you and your gf are in a lot of pain and need help. I think she needs therapy very badly. I think you two aren’t connecting and communicating, and I think you should try couples counseling. I’d urge you to think about it as a way to help her hear you, and you hear her (spoiler: in your post it’s pretty clear that you don’t have a grasp of her perspective on all this. Which is great news – maybe once you do, you can find a way to work together and be together happily). If you can’t do those things, then yeah, it might be best for you to leave. But I think there’s no reason to think you couldn’t get from here to a much happier, healthier, better place, so you should really make an effort to get there. Couples counseling – don’t wait on it.
have you guys talked to a doctor about this? a doctor or a sex therapist will be your best ally in this and they will be able to help guide you in better ways to enjoy your time in the sack.
maybe he needs to get his foreskin circumcised so it no longer is an issue, maybe he needs viagra to help bloodflow, maybe he needs porn in the background. I am throwing ideas out there but the point is, we of reddit are not professionals and this is a medical problem best solved by medical personnel.
have him call his doctor first for a consultation and go from there.