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As another redditor pointed it out, this is a fake story. But I have to add, it took me a few minutes to realize your wife did not cheat after she died. Title was confusing as heck.
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It sounds like your mom is trying to protect you, but her comments are making it difficult for you to feel secure in your relationship. It's understandable that she is concerned about your future, but it's important to remember that your relationship is ultimately up to you and your boyfriend. You know him best and can make the best decisions for your future together.
It might be helpful to have a conversation with your mom about her concerns. Let her know that you understand her worries, but that you also need her support. Explain to her that you are confident in your relationship and that you would like her to be supportive of it. Ask her to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and to trust your judgement.
It's also important to talk to your boyfriend about your mom's concerns. Let him know how she is feeling and ask him how he feels about the situation. He may be able to provide some insight into how to address your mom's worries.
Finally, make sure that you are taking steps to ensure that your relationship is secure. Talk to a lawyer or immigration specialist about the visa process and make sure that you are taking all the necessary steps to ensure that your boyfriend can stay in the country legally. This will help to alleviate some of your mom's worries and will give you both peace of mind.
I'd like to just reset the whole thing, give it back to her parents, get my own, etc.,
This is exactly what you should do. The worst thing is to be rushed into marriage when you're not ready. I would also tell them how this situation has made you felt very pressured to rush to marriage. If your girlfriend cannot understand this then maybe she isn't the one for you.
Fully agree here. About a decade ago, I was engaged to and living with a Nicolas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas level alcoholic (that was actually her favorite movie, mostly for aspirational reasons). In the middle of a bender, she flew to Vegas with a guy from one of her classes and married him. Called me from the airport on the way there to tell me I should probably find a new place to live (we split the rent but I had taken my name off the lease during the previous nightmare breakup scenario).. but she found out once they got back that I probably didn’t need to make such a hasty exit, he still lived with his parents and wasn’t in any hurry to move out.
Within a week, she and I were sleeping together again, even though she was still married to college guy (she called him MySpace Tom, not because she met him on MySpace, but because he looked like that guy when he smiled). Anyway.. she had told me they broke up because he wasn’t willing to move out of his parent’s place.. and his parents, weirdly enough, did not like her even a little bit. However, after we had sex and she passed out, her phone blew up. Like text after text after text, calls, etc. i know it’s not the best move morally but I’ll be honest, I haven’t always been the most moral person.. I looked at the messages.
They were from someone who was clearly not aware their marriage had ended (and also some dude named Karon from her gym, but that’s only tangentially related). So I told him. From her phone, I texted back telling him who I was and what the deal was. I took pictures of the two of us in bed together and sent them to him, with a caption “this your girl?”. He called again, and I talked to him and explained the situation again.
Now I’m clearly not the best when it comes to not being fooled by lies from a significant other (10 years later, ain’t shit changed) but this motherfucker STILL DID NOT BELIEVE ME. I had given him my number to hit me up if there was anything else he needed to know later.. he talked to her the next day and then sent me this message calling me a liar and telling me to stop harassing his wife (I harassed that ass again that same day, bet, I know I shouldn’t have but she was like crack to me.. and a lot of people say that and don’t know what it really means, but I was a polysubstance abuser for many years and I’ve had a couple relationships that were harder to kick than heroin, full stop). I don’t really know exactly how she convinced him I was pulling some kind of technological chicanery, you could spoof numbers back then I’m sure but I felt like I had presented fairly compelling evidence.
The main takeaway here: people are inclined to believe people they know and love over strangers, and they’re even more inclined to believe the person they know if the information presented by a stranger contradicts the reality they’ve chosen for themselves and makes them feel foolish, used, hurt.. i mean, it’s like you’re showing up at her door with a folded flag, ya know, but instead of being in full uniform with an official letter of condolence, you set the flag on fire with a bunch of poop in it, rang her doorbell and ran off, and then when she came outside she got hit in the face with the letter of condolence that you folded into a paper airplane and threw it from the bushes across the street.
You gotta give her a little more to work with.. like, the point of telling her was that you wanna have integrity, right? You don’t have integrity if you’re not putting your name on this one. He’s one of your only friends and you’ve known him forever? If he’s really your friend, your friendship will survive you outing him, and hopefully he’ll grow as a person from it and mutual respect will increase. If the friendship doesn’t hold up, you were never his friend, you were his bitch. You don’t have to carry secrets like that for real friends. Real friends help each other become better people. Took me a long time and a lot of bad decisions to figure that out. And it’s really not fair to her to throw this info to her and bail, if you weren’t willing to put your name on it I think you should have kept your mouth shut.
Last thought.. I don’t believe in the whole guy code bros before hoes shit, I think you can date friend’s exes in a lot of situations, but I hope you understand that with this one, because if the circumstances here, you’re never really gonna be totally in the clear to date this one. I’ve seen a few people in comments say maybe you end up with the girl here.. but if that was the outcome, it would cast a really negative light on your sense of ethics. Not saying that’s your plan, but if it was I would reconsider.
You don't remember if you got any presents from people for your baby? And idk it's my first time posting I thought I'd have a mix. Now I know lol
Exactly.. it's similar to women who lose sexual desire because their partners are critical or don't help out around the house or take them for granted.. sexual attraction happens in the brain and isn't only about someone's objective physical appearances
The difference is in this case expecting someone to change their personality is futile and pointless, and he probably just going along with it so he can say he gave it a chance
You sure you want to online with this guy, OP? Sounds like a jerk to me. Creeped out by horse figurines? That's just fucking childish
Heyyy sauce man is back!!
Damn you really have no backbone your friends are right. You don't even stay with him!!! He doesn't even know where you live!!
I broke up with her yesterday. I'm just curious if I was out of line because friends and family are telling me I overreacted and now there is a touch of doubt. We haven't spoken since lunch on Saturday.
They did a study on cancer patients and found that the women in it had a 20.8% chance of being left by their husbands. Another study on women cancer and MS patients found they were six times more likely to end up separated or divorced.