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Write your thoughts down like a letter and ask him if you can read it to him, that way you have time to think about what you wanna say and have it written down so you don't forget things/fumble over it
You set up some simple ground rules, and then you let yourself have fun.
Ground Rules: 1) Your guest does not visit your house when your kid is there. This means finding other ways to meet: his house when someone else is caring for the kid, you swap babysitting with friends, you pay for a sitter, someone watches him, etc. 2) Do not let your kid form a bond with this person. This is going to be casual and kid won't understand. 3) Use very strong birth control. Any other kids you have are fully and entirely your choice, at the right time for you, and that's it. So get very good birth control. Then enjoy!!!
4) Do not let anyone shame or guilt you about this. If they do, do not react. This is your life and your body and sex is wonderful and healing. Get yourself some.
People are giving you advice, and you’re literally screaming like a little girl and getting defensive. What are you talking about?
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she is purposely hitting you in front of others to embarrass you. hitting someone is not okay at all, let one in your face and in front of all your friends. her apology was not sincere, she even blamed you for her decision to hit you! all the “good things” about your relationship are not worth the abuse and embarrassment. it will 100% get worse.
I just want to have the same securities and protection he has.
You are never going to have those securities and protections if you keep being a doormat. When you were 20 and he was 30, he was a predator. Now you are 36. You stayed with him while he was abusive, you stayed after he cheated 13 out of 16 years, you stay with him while he doesn't put you on the deed to your home, he doesn't go out, he doesn't allow you to work, you can't have a bank account…
He is NEVER going to give you anything. You have to start doing things he doesn't allow you. You have to tell him NO. Demand things. And abuser is not going to be giving you anything. Go open a bank account. Get a job. Go out. Make a life for yourself. Maybe, just maybe, if he sees you do stuff, he panics and puts you on the deed and gives you access to his bank account.
Your partner isn’t feeling well. Mom wasn’t invited and was told to not come. Let her be mad. It’s not her house. Every time you open the door for her, you’re inviting her into your home. So stop opening the door for her.
Pelvic floor therapy is not permanent surgical alteration of the body and is not a good comparison here.
Women with vaginismus should be told that pelvic floor therapy is available to them if they are interested in penetrative sex, penetrative masturbation, or using tampons or a menstrual cup. They should not be “told to get PVT therapy,” just have it presented as an option available to them. Women should do PVT only when they want to do it. If they are perfectly happy to spend the rest of their lives relying exclusively on masturbation and oral sex and completely foregoing PIV sex, they have every right to make that decision for themselves. If a partner isn't happy with that as their sex life, they're welcome to end things. No woman should feel pressured to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on specialized physical therapy just so someone can get their dick wet if she isn't interested or ready.
OP's boyfriend either isn't interested or ready. He's 18 years old and doesn't want to have his dick cut and risk sensation. He's not being unreasonable. OP isn't unreasonable if that means she doesn't want to stay in the relationship. OP is unreasonable if she pushes the issue.
Quit doing so much for her.