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Helping someone through difficult times in their life is a reason to be considered fondly by them. It’s not necessarily a reason to be regularly brought up in conversation years later when it’s unrelated. Unless she helped in recently? In which case, why was she the support and not you?
This was the result he wanted. You said he has behaved similarly before. That is a pattern. You are operating at half capacity to who you truly are to compensate for him. You are making yourself small for him to avoid his unspecified rage. This is not an equal partnership. You are not doing well. Connect with how YOU feel about this before adjusting to his “rage”.