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So you got married at 33 and 19, and it’s safe to assume you were in a relationship for a couple years before marriage.
So you’re with a narcissist that’s also a predator.
Maybe it’s time to leave.
Both of you need to work out how to have a disagreement without swearing at each other or swerving off into irrelevance ('maybe I need a better husband'). For instance, with the horse argument all you really need to say is it doesn't fit into your financial plan, as you want to concentrate on the house. She can come up with all sorts of arguments, but you just repeat the house is your financial priority. You'll only have to do this a few times before the discussion runs out of steam.
Do you have any long term problem with her attitude towards earning and spending money? At the moment you are the provider and earner and seem to have the veto over spending proposals. Marriage or long term partnerships require planning and mutual agreement to be successful. Sitting down and going through the figures regularly is a great way to bring her onboard.
In terms of respect, I agree that you don't have to put up with disrespectful behaviour from her; just make sure it goes both ways. Swearing during an argument should be out.
100% , you know your worth more so pack up and go, also book sti test with doctor
Don't try to change her mind, just state ur position. She needs to sort it out herself.
If you don't trust her, and you have no kids, why are you staying? You need counseling so you can figure out how you really feel.
He isn't. And your expectations are off because of it. Plenty of men know that they want kids, despite your assumptions. It isn't a matter of the woman wanting kids and him just going with the flow. Many men actively want children, know they want children, and plan to have children. Your husband just isn't one of them.
Ask her to take a drug test.
Ask her to get screened for STDs.
Regardless of her willingness to do either of the above, sounds like you need to file for divorce to protect your kids.