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Lol he is not “more mature than her.” He's controlling and insecure.
This thread and subreddit for that matter is filled with fresh wounds, trauma and heart break. I’m not denying that. I’ve had my fair share. It’s nearly impossible to make good long term decisions when in that state of mind. I punch in every now and again with the intention to help slow things down, look at it differently and try to offer up advice that isn’t impulsive. OP states “so be it” if she wants revenge. And that’s what’s fucked up about the world. A never ending cycle of reactionary revenge justified by misery. What if we broke the cycle?
There’s a book called Healing Sex (a mind body approach to healing sexual trauma) by Staci Haynes. It’s quite full on and might be a bit triggering but each chapter has activities you can do to reconnect to your body and sexuality.
Might be worth a read.
I don't think he's cheating. He could've easily hid all these info from you. But it definitely sounds like he should cut off all communication with the girl because she doesn't respect boundaries.
I am resentful of my sister who lives in a big house and just spend an insane amount of time to work on a handmade gift for me. I already own a blanket! The audacity!
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Hm I see personal thing aren't ok to share with bf, but are with “friend” . Seems legit. I also think her admitting that she has been sending and receiving messages that would make you upset us more than enough to get upset. While it diesn't seen like she is cheating it seens she breaching boundaries with very personal conversations. Potentially cheating emotionally on you. Its's your call of course, but I personally think openess is important in relationship. Secrets naturally breed insecurity. I think this is a big deal and sign of more things being hidden from you.
They are married, it is their home. She is allowed to invite her own parents over, that’s just not feasible to only expect one partner to be able to invite anyone over. “Two yeses and one no”, this is a partnership not a business deal. It takes compromise sometimes, and sometimes you’ve got to suck it up and deal with things you don’t absolutely love. She visits with his family all the time, and he still has the same issue with his own parents. This tells me it’s not just her mother that is the big issue here.
I would honestly say if he can’t deal with having a guest over for a week every year and a half, then they need to work some things out. He can book a trip with friends, opt out of excursions so she can give him his space for some of the days, spend some time with his own family or invite some friends over so he can feel included. There’s lots of ways to make his time easier but if the alternative is OP never getting to see her parents, since they can’t afford flights + hotel, then I’d say he is a huge ass for not being even remotely accommodating.
I was already petrified to speak to anyone about it, I never sought therapy. Putting a complaint at the police station was already such a hustle mentally. I know I will have to seek for professional help soon, the reason why I wanted to speak of it in the first place was because it weights so heavy on my shoulder.
I might take my courage in two hands and go to one soon.
I think this story is fake, but being 30 and looking 15 is possible.
I’m short and fairly petite – that plus some lucky genetics (and SPF 30 every day. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and all that!), and I still regularly get carded. I’m 38 (legal age: 18).
both of us, but i guess more so him bc i send him my half of rent/utilities and he pays it
If you want to try again, tell her that you want to talk about what’s bothering you again and have both of you to focus on solving it rather than bring up other grievances, which doesn’t actually get you anywhere on anything. Ask her to help you figure out a solution to the issues and tell her that you need her to be on your team for this. Promise her that you’ll hear her out at another time. It may help get past the defensiveness and instinct to score points. If she starts deflecting again, offer to write down whatever her complaint is so that you can come back to it, but refuse to engage with the distraction and bring it back to what you were talking about. Emphasize to her that it’s incredibly important to you that you can talk about difficult emotional subjects productively. I would also do this in person if you can.
The only weddings I’ve seen with invites (or, more often, save the dates) sent that early as those that will require travel, like destination weddings or those of people whose family all live far away, especially in other countries.
It's not rude at all
This is a serious and sensitive issue that concerns adults considering raising adopted children.
I'm concerned you're a teenager derailing a conversation that does not apply to you
Ya I have seen people experience no consequence. But at this point I can't help thinking if it's because of my actions ?
No his porn addiction caused him to masterbate everyday, gave him ED, no feel, and pedophilic tastes.
He's a pedophile. That's a pretty important detail. That's th3 cause of his issues. Not masturbating you fucking troglodyte.
But yea you do that lmfaoo, listen to your own “anecdotes”
They hold more water than anything you say
It's easy for me to say this because I'm not the one who has to deal with the repercussions, but this is 1000% a talk you need to have with him. Tell him you're bored, tell him you feel like you're missing out on part of you life bc you kinda are. If he loves you the way you say you love him he'll listen. I understand that the responsibilities you guys have might make it hot but even a compromise like once a month or so going out and doing something fun or staying up late and going to a bar or event just something to get you out of the routine that's killing you.
Now on a personal opinion note, it sounds like you got trapped in this relationship at a young and impressionable age. It's something that happens to younger women and honestly from what you say he seems like a nice guy and I don't think he did it intentionally but he sure didn't give you a lot of escape routes. But that's just my two cents don't let it carry too much weight.
She literally tried to coerce you. Leave her.
Tell him he needs to move out by a certain date, as you need your space back. Also have it in writing if you can. Look up squatters rights in advance just in case he gets defensive or brushes you off. You could also speak to your building as they should be informed, 1 about the situation, 2 they should know the legal points of eviction. Try to make it as amiable as possible at first. He seems really lazy and and feels comfortable using you so it might get ugly. It would be better if he thought you guys were “okay” and he moved out gracefully, before the breakup. He could possibly get aggressive and damage things or even steal stuff when he moves if he is bitter.
Ava should tell the police that she strongly suspects OPs husband is the one who broke into her house and she should get someone to look for cameras and check her computer for spyware.
Coward.
No I am aware I definitely talked to her about it and made sure she was okay afterwards and told her I supported her in the decision. I guess I didn’t word it the best and indeed in this post was focusing on myself rather than her because of the way I was feeling while writing it at that time. I listened to reddits feedback and communicated with her about it and It’s just that we were having sex a little too often and it was making her feel used. I feel horrible about that and totally understand and back her decision. I feel a lot better and I wasn’t ever mad or upset about the sex exactly. It was more of, is it because she doesn’t find me attractive or she isn’t really into a relationship with me anymore. Anyways thanks for everyone’s feedback and help!
No wonder you don’t want to be intimate with him. He’s bragging about ignoring your boundaries and straight up telling you that you can’t trust him.
But .. you will listen to my useless insistence on a treatise of completely un-actionable academic theories about how emotions are like your nose ! Why has this not been acclaimed as I deserve !
Lordy…A bounty is literally a sum paid for some action. That particular states laws now allow for you to sue someone who you think has had an abortion or has aided someone in getting an abortion, for money. It is literally offering the prospect of a financial benefit for exposing people…which is literally a bounty.
Maybe you should use some of those 'click bait play on words' in your Google searches so you some have to ask Internet strangers if it's actually been successful. Lol. I'm done.
Lordy…A bounty is literally a sum paid for some action. That particular states laws now allow for you to sue someone who you think has had an abortion or has aided someone in getting an abortion, for money. It is literally offering the prospect of a financial benefit for exposing people…which is literally a bounty.
Maybe you should use some of those 'click bait play on words' in your Google searches so you some have to ask Internet strangers if it's actually been successful. Lol. I'm done.
You have got to be kidding?
This.
Most relationships either lift you up or drag you down.
Sounds like yours is taking you down, down, down.