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Yikes this sounds like a car crash waiting to happen, just let him propose. + don’t be so sure the proposal is just round the corner, you’re both still v young and a lot of guys string women along for years, when deep down they never wanna get married because it doesn’t actually benefit them + financially hurts them
How would she feel if you did a similar thing?
Regardless of that, if you don't feel comfortable that's completely fine. I see the majority thinks it's not a big deal, but they're not in a relationship with your GF. Remember that.
So the question is: is it too much for you to handle? You can only answer that.
Why does her ability to pay for stuff you can’t afford ruin your self-esteem? You seem to have tied your worth to your finances and that’s something you’d do well in working on. But also what’s the deal with “I don’t go to the dr?” At least do a yearly check-up, dude. That’s just plain dangerous for you.
For what it's worth, I'm sorry. This has to be stressful as hell, and the miscarriages also have to be so nude.
Sounds like you have your priority, then. Try looking into other countries, may be cheaper or some other options that can work for you. Have you looked into grants? Two years is a short timeline, there's no way to extend it as that's a health risk?
I'd hope you'd tiger mom it for sure. But I'm also worried about YOU. I think you probably didn't think you could do better, had rose-colored glasses, and were afraid of change/ losing someone you love (and love isn't always healthy, and sure doesn't always make sense). But you can control how you move forward. I hope you can teach your child to do better than the father, and I don't blame you one iota for how he treats you or his inability to change. But you also have to temper this with your best interests.
I think knowing your timeline, need and limitations here, if you do have a baby with him give him a firm “you do THIS without me telling you. You shape up right gd NOW or we're done” and once he, regrettably almost inevitably can't be a decent partner or adult, you get out. You and your kid.
I wish you the best of luck. But please please please, even if you have a kid with him, do not stay with him. He has already had 15 years to change. He has demonstrated he cannot, long term. He'll just suck you in again and disappoint you. There's someone out there for you, he ain't it
That’s rape. Get tested asap and again in a few weeks.
Yes beatings do in fact change a person's psyche. So does verbal/emotional abuse. The best thing is to go to a therapist to deal with the issues that are instilled in you. That's really the only way to free yourself from all the fear, anxieties and everything else that affects your life and your relationships. Also you want to stop the intergenerational abuse and not pass that on to your children. Please find a therapist and begin the process of healing. Hugs for you.
He doesn't know what else you are hiding from him.
yeah that is true. he doesnt believe me. its just frustrating bc i know there is nothing else.
I wonder why he doesn’t have a gf his own age? Don’t put up with his crap
Sorry to hear that. It's good you don't regret it. I try to not regret relationships because I learned something(s) new about love and myself in every one.
You probably don't trust him as much as you think you do.