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BF deserves to know.
Your motives don't matter, he deserves to know.
If work gets uncomfortable? Oh well, welcome to the consequences of her own actions.
Don't shit where you eat is a saying for good reason.
Now, maybe it could backfire if she convinced HR you harassed and seduced her. Oh well, consequences again, of you choosing to sleep with someone of questionable character.
Maybe there's a reason why his ex-wife and kids avoid him. Is this the first time since you two started dating that he's lost his temper with you or in your presence?
I wouldn't. To do something like this without asking or including OP in any way on a day that was supposed to be about her is on a level of shittiness that I don't think they're the kind of people worth being friends with.
Is this the type of relationship you want your children to have in the future?
Time to embrace your in-laws and leave this rabble behind. Also please get into therapy. Part of this drama is happening because you're actively feeding into it – and you don't have to do that. You aren't as insane as your sister or as vile as your parents, you can do this without their input – or lack thereof.
I think your reasons are valid but so are his and you seem so dismissive of his.
Like…maybe you shouldn’t invite either of your parents to a dinner since they’re both nuts and can’t manage themselves? He doesn’t want to go out to a restaurant. I (44F) think his logic is ridiculous but he is the groom—it’s his special day too. Seems to me there could be a compromise. Like he could bring a change of clothes and you guys go to the restaurant. Or you guys don’t do dinner with your parents together. Or….so many options.
I dunno. I planned my wedding. I would never want to plan one again because it’s a PITA but I did it. My (now ex) husband didn’t really do anything til the day before with setup.
My folks are divorced and I told them both that if they didn’t think they could behave, not to come. I had people organized to be buffers at the reception/meal so they weren’t close to each other.
That’s exactly why I picked pegging…
Dude
Leave
Don't save her, she don't wanna be saved
Our family’s are all over our socials. So I highly doubt there’s any sort of interactions there. She has retired grandparents that have notifications on for our posts/comments on some platforms so they’d know.