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1. Grief isn't a mental health issue: it's a normal emotion, like love, and there is no way through but through.

   What about you: how are you feeling about losing the baby? Is this maybe something you and your wife need support to talk about together so you can connect and support each other?

   I think the weight comment was probably a red herring, BTW, or at least a side issue that's easier to articulate. Sometimes you have to work through the initial arguments to find out what you're really feeling bad about.

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2. Please, please leave her. If not for you, than for your kids. This does not get better. Only worse. I lived like you. I felt bad and took my oldest sons bio dad back when he would guilt me or blackmail me. Until he hit me while I was pregnant.

   If they hit you, they will hit your babies. Your kids are already learning this is “what a relationship looks like”. That one person abuses and one is the victim. Teach them that's wrong. Leave her and get therapy. For the kids and you.

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3. So you BETRAYED her trust and behind her back read some of the most private things she ever written. Then you started SHAMING and JUDGING her, from the assumption you made from what you read, in which, on your head, she has no remorse from being an affair partner.

   And you feel repulsed by her? My guy, it is her that should be repulsed by you. She years ago made a mistake, that you have no idea how it went and how affected her and made her be who she is now. But YOU NOW is someone that cannot be trusted. You are the only one in this scenario who should be ashamed.

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4. She is. OP says that she dumped her immediately, she’s just seeking reassurance now that she didn’t overreact.

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5. I will give this a go seems like good advice. Thank you for helping !

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