THIS is what you need to say in therapy! It might be a good idea to meditate on what actions she takes that make you see her as not open/secure/honest about her emotions. It may take some bluntness and that's okay.
It sounds like you have your reasons, but are unable to articulate them. What is preventing you? You don't need to be cruel but part of being in a relationship is bettering each other and pushing each other. Calling someone out on their shit is not cruel, as long as it is done with tact and understanding.
I would love her to be open, secure, and honest about her emotions. She was that at one point, but I was a callow asshole who had a pile a trauma and no recognition of it. I burned that part of her.
I'm glad you have a clear head on your shoulders. Your husband sounds like a complete AH. Who says that crap to a hormonal pregnant woman, twins no less! Congrats on the babies, well the 2 your carrying that 3rd one tho….smh. glad his sister kicked him out. I started reading this and immediately thought of Elvis. I think divorce is the right option and good on you for separating finances and rooms. This dude made fun of you for going to therapy. What a gaslighting narcissist. He was probably afraid of what your therapist would tell you about him. And based on your weight, no scarring or stretch marks…grrrr most women get stretch marks from 1 baby let alone 2 the nerve of this guy. I see he took his marriage vows seriously. If he's saying this crap to you now, I'd hate to hear how he'd treat the kids or you in front of them. Good on you for seeing what it is and preparing yourself. You don't need this toxicity in your life. Good luck OP and keep us updated.
This has nothing to do with whether he cares about your looks and everything to do with how humiliating it is to discover that the person you love gossips about you and discusses you behind your back. It's disrespectful and rude. I don't know where that leaves your relationship but stop worrying about what he does or doesn't find attractive about you and start thinking about whether you're ok with him using your relationship as a casual topic of conversation with his friends.
NB I am not saying that talking to friends about problems in your relationship is wrong. We all need a shoulder to cry on sometimes. But that's not what happened here, this was just casual, flippant conversation and as such, disrespectful.
THIS is what you need to say in therapy! It might be a good idea to meditate on what actions she takes that make you see her as not open/secure/honest about her emotions. It may take some bluntness and that's okay.
It sounds like you have your reasons, but are unable to articulate them. What is preventing you? You don't need to be cruel but part of being in a relationship is bettering each other and pushing each other. Calling someone out on their shit is not cruel, as long as it is done with tact and understanding.
I would love her to be open, secure, and honest about her emotions. She was that at one point, but I was a callow asshole who had a pile a trauma and no recognition of it. I burned that part of her.
Are you guys talking about this in therapy?
I'm glad you have a clear head on your shoulders. Your husband sounds like a complete AH. Who says that crap to a hormonal pregnant woman, twins no less! Congrats on the babies, well the 2 your carrying that 3rd one tho….smh. glad his sister kicked him out. I started reading this and immediately thought of Elvis. I think divorce is the right option and good on you for separating finances and rooms. This dude made fun of you for going to therapy. What a gaslighting narcissist. He was probably afraid of what your therapist would tell you about him. And based on your weight, no scarring or stretch marks…grrrr most women get stretch marks from 1 baby let alone 2 the nerve of this guy. I see he took his marriage vows seriously. If he's saying this crap to you now, I'd hate to hear how he'd treat the kids or you in front of them. Good on you for seeing what it is and preparing yourself. You don't need this toxicity in your life. Good luck OP and keep us updated.
This has nothing to do with whether he cares about your looks and everything to do with how humiliating it is to discover that the person you love gossips about you and discusses you behind your back. It's disrespectful and rude. I don't know where that leaves your relationship but stop worrying about what he does or doesn't find attractive about you and start thinking about whether you're ok with him using your relationship as a casual topic of conversation with his friends.
NB I am not saying that talking to friends about problems in your relationship is wrong. We all need a shoulder to cry on sometimes. But that's not what happened here, this was just casual, flippant conversation and as such, disrespectful.
He's new, so binning won't hurt too much!