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EX BF is what you mean. Fuck him.
This is going to be rough for you any way you decide to go, but I can see two viable options at the moment.
You can take that break up and go no contact.
You believe him and hold out for a relationship with him.
My advice would be to go no contact. All of his children in separate households with separate mothers is not only a gigantic complication to a relationship but also a scary reminder for you. If you continue with him, you run the risk of becoming the fourth mother to another of his children. And he says this latest one is crazy and physically abusive, yet he will still spend nights with her. I'm sorry, but being with him is a waste of your time and energy. Even if he isn't lying to your face, he is in no way ready for a relationship.
Why does matter in many cases including this one. There are two categories of people when it comes to survivors too. One who when such things happen work on themselves and may sometimes fail but during relapse apologize and work for further solutions and then there are others who use this as an excuse for their bad behavior and refuse to work on it as well as repeat the same pattern as their abuser. When people identify the whys it helps both the parties even if they go separate ways. And once OP leaves this relationship I would also suggest him to take therapy and some time to focus on himself as well. Also, as an survivor I had ex who had completed disregard for my triggers and always brought me to scenarios that put me on high alert and didn’t understand why I would lash at him when I had told him several times and explained in every way how certain things he does is triggering and I will not have control on it especially when I was still healing. He then went around telling people a sob story and cheated on me because I wasn’t “forgetting” things and because “I didn’t listen to him that’s why it happened to me”. So the whys do matter.
I'm sorry to say this but he is projecting
dump him. he’s a cheater.
Yep! I remember the look on the engaged guys faces when our family law professor told us that in most circumstances, if the engagement does not result in marriage, she gets to keep the ring.
Whatever the motivations he had to push you to get off the sleeping medication… it was a bad idea. You went through withdrawal as a result, a very strong example of why you shouldn't just go messing with your medications like that.
As for the chocolate milk thing I mean… he is 33 and that is obviously kind of absurd. Is he using it as some sort of anxiety thing? Is he a picky eater in general? But making a chocolate milk at 3am is honestly just absolutely selfish and baffling, especially given it is clearly leading to him having to use the toilet frequently.
I don't love your text message to him but primarily because… well, why hide it behind passive aggression? Just be upfront about how upset you are and how stupid what he did was. Why sass it when just saying he didn't consider your feelings at all is more than enough. Why give him that free punch, the chance to throw this back in your face in precisely the way he did.
He actually texted and I don’t know what I should say. At the moment I’m still hurt, so I don’t want to reply at the moment anyways.
He said, “Hope you’re still alive. Going out today. I love you.”
I’m assuming he has today off from work which allows him more time to text me even though it wouldn’t have taken him that long anyways…
Also kind of sucks that that’s all he has to say. It seems like he isn’t bothered by the lack of communication.
$1500 seems more than far for the reasons tha tyou've already mentioned. That rate should be temporary, based on his employment and pay situation. Should he be gainfully employed and the location still works from him, $2000 or 50% are reasonable.
When we first met he already had alot of red flags
And you went ahead and decided to date him.
I told him clearly that his behaviour is just not ok
You continuing to date him is implicit acceptance of his behavior.