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You guys just aren't compatible and that's ok. Time to move on.
Oh that's a terrible thing for him to say. It's also a load of crap that he's saying of vasectomy is invasive. A tubal ligation is a heck of a lot more invasive than a vasectomy. So he needs to get his facts straight. I didn't want to get my tubes tied just for that reason alone, and my husband was the same he did not want to give her vasectomy he didn't want any doctor down there messing around with his junk. I think he was afraid it wouldn't work as good. Don't know, he didn't want me on birth control so I said well you better take care of business since obviously I won't be. We've had two kids. I didn't want anymore, he didn't want anymore. He was very good about wearing condoms though it didn't bother him. I think if the man doesn't want any more children he should be the one taking care of business whether it's diligently using condoms or getting a vasectomy.
I am telling you that perhaps it has absolutely nothing to do with her feelings for him but instead being upset she “wasn't enough” for him to marry after 9 years. Those two are not mutually exclusive.
She could be mourning and want absolutely nothing to do with him anymore. Or like you seem to feel yes it could also be she feels he mad a mistake.
When she leaves, I would just text her, “hope ex is husband material.”
And block before she can respond.
No closure for her.
My boyfriend sleeps over at his friends house occasionally, a lot of his friends are girls, I'm fine with him having a sleepover as long as they don't sleep in the same bed. He's his own person and I trust him completely. But I do get how someone can be uncomfortable with it, especially if they're more traditional.
Ok so, utilities 50/50 sounds good. For the mortgage she will not be gaining any equity or building credit as her name is not on anything. Personally I'd go with less than half on the mortgage. Maybe 1/3 for her. If you had her name on the mortgage I'd say more but she is basically just a Tennant I think in the eyes of official standing typically with court type stuff. I wouldn't put her on the deed as it doesn't account for your equity on the property already. Down the road if you guys make it deeper into the relationship you may want to consider adding her to the mortgage and have her buy into the already standing equity that you have to gain proper and fair rights to the property. Just my opinion tho, depends on what way you want to go.