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You tell them straight and go the point. My husband and I are NOT your ATM, and the bank of us is closed.
You don't explain anything and grey rock them. You may even have to cut some ties with the more entitled and demanding people around you.
And stop paying your mom's car. It's her financial responsibility, not yours op. Tell your mom the bank is closed and two years is more then enough time and stop paying her car loan. It's not your credit that's going to take it hit. It's hers. You are never stuck with anyone else's bills amd you're not obligated to give people money or buy them things.
As an adult that hosts, just let me know. Call and ask if it’s okay if you bring your BF, let them know if it doesn’t work, it’s not a problem but you’ve love to introduce him to everyone.
If he has any dietary issues please make sure to let them know and offer to bring something for the meal as well. If they don’t need anything it’s great to bring wine and chocolate or whatever they enjoy.
Ok. As one commenter said already, you’re leaving a lot of information out.
I’m going to make several assumptions as to thing that may be happening and that your husband may be feeling. Of course these are all assumptions, but drawing conclusions from what info you’ve provided here, I feel at least some of these are likely correct.
Firstly, it sounds like you’re being incredibly unsupportive of your husband’s career. This is obviously something that is important to him, and your flippant attitude about it here almost definitely comes across in conversations with him.
Now, its not likely that he’s FORCING you to move, so at some point it seems you’ve relented and agreed to go, but are likely complaining and invalidating his excitement at every turn. If I were your husband, that would get old really quickly.
It also seems you’ve made a financial miscalculation. It, of course, always costs money to move. However if its for a better paying job with great opportunity, the financial cost would be recovered, probably within a year or less. In the end you will be making more money.
What I don’t see mentioned anywhere is YOUR job. This leads me to believe that either you don’t have one, or if you do, its not really one that significantly contributes financially. So, if you are strapped for cash, he’s making a decision to fix that issue, and you’re doing nothing. In fact, you’re complaining. THAT is incredibly frustrating.
Does any of this sound familiar? Its likely that at least some of this has been said during your mysterious fights with your husband recently. The fact that you’ve left out entirely what those may be about leads me to think you’re likely at fault for most of these, and even you know it.
Lastly, regardless of everything else happening, moving is always stressful. Imagine spending 3 weeks running around like crazy, Christmas is finally here and you’re looking forward to relaxing for a minute before having to spend part of it with your family and in laws. You get home after a 4 hour drive, and come home to an apartment with no power. You cant even take a damn nap before headed to the in laws, because that’s the only solution.
Then, a fight happens over your forgetfulness to pay the electric bill. He’s freezing, tired, and frustrated. Whoever started the fight doesn’t matter, because at the moment he told you to leave him alone and you didn’t, you pushed too far. It was too much. He snapped.
I don’t know if he meant what he said. I also don’t know how accurate any of my assumptions are. Regardless, you seem like you’ve been incredibly frustrating for at the very least all your complaining.
Give him some space, apologize first, and talk it out. Recognize the role that you likely played in allowing things to get to this point. Hopefully this can still be saved.
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Yeah, sounds like he is leaning on his friends. She's just not one of his friends.
I would imagine having life goals, being a considerate person, a more mature, well reasoned person. Maybe being less self focused?
Yes, I did express more sexual desire before, but that was because there was room to do that.
What do you mean by “there was room to do that”?
I just think there should be more to a relationship.
Absolutely there should be, but you've now got to have a discussion on what that entails.
what advice are you looking for?
His reaction at least implies that he’s feeling guilty about something.
Dump her. She already said she doesn't feel the same so why are you wasting your time?