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I think that’s how guy “cheer”each other up? Not ok that he told you so bluntly and it’s understandable to be hurt but I’d give it time to let the hurt feelings fade. Try to look at the big picture, bf looking at random girls vs the whole context of you relationship.
Sounds like she is cheating or is planning to.
Apologize for the misunderstanding and move on.
This is not some random strange creep sliding into her dms, it’s a colleague. If you didn’t already know, reporting him to management or HR could very realistically result in her being fired. That’s why it’s tolerated so much, not because we enjoy the attention like some dudes love to fucking claim. She’s stuck between a rock and a hard place and you’re not helping at all.
I think this is probably like a 7 year itch situation.
I have found those super passionate relationships to do one of two things, burn out or become abusive.
I'd take what you have any day of the week. I'd be counting my blessings.
And you just sit and say okay? Be serious
Do what you like. I think she was making fun of herself – but if you do not want the friendship you stay away.