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Isn't this just a difference in men and women? Isn't it kind of ridiculous for the therapist to suggest that men are somehow disfunctional for not approaching problems the same way women do?
Like, I spend my whole day fixing million dollar machines that are malfunctioning, not consoling people with empathy and affirmation. Of course if you bring me a problem I'm going to try to actually fix it…
My wife knows this, if she's having a problem she needs emotional support with then she's going to go to her BFF, or other girlfriends, or her mom or grandma. Not to her dad or her brother or me, but she'll go to us immediately when it's a problem that needs actual fixing.
And if I text my friend Steve asking for help because my God dam computer won't boot, I don't want from him to be like “aw shucks man, it's okay, don't get upset, it'll be okay” no… I expect him to be “what is it doing, what have you tried, okay try this, and this, and that.”
But if I say to my wife “my God dam computer won't boot” then I don't expect any of that practical shit from her. From her I actually do expect “aw that sucks babe, how bout we go for a hike to take your mind off it” or “let's make tacos for dinner to cheer you up”
Is it really so wrong for men and women to be different?
Take your meds and dump your boyfriend.
I feel like there should be a bot on this sub that automatically posts that.
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Yes, that's what I was wondering too, he seems to have brushed over what he said to make her comment.
It's not going to get any better, you've asked him multiple times, even when you put your phone on DND.
He does understand, he wants to do what he wants when he wants.
People like this are exhausting, they will suck the life out of you if you let them, you've got a condition where you have to take care of yourself, he's not even listening to that, but I guarantee he hears you
You're 8 years older than her, maybe find someone more mature next time.
“I do not want to be in this relationship. I am ending it. Any further threats of self harm will be taken seriously and will be reported to (parents, school, mental health professional, etc).”
I’m exhausted just reading this.
No shared credit card just shared checking and savings account. We've been waiting to get credit cards just because I've been kind of fearful and we wanted to take some financial literacy classes together so we both were better educated on finances. Neither of us came from financial well off families nor were we taught money management, but thankfully there are many resources out there to learn those skills nowadays.
I was in a very similar situation. I kept telling myself to wait until he got a new job. Then after that it was just “wait until this or that changes” then he will give me attention again. Unfortunately he never changed and he was miserable and non-attentive and non-affectionate to me. I decided I was worth more than waiting for him to change and saw that to him, I wasn't worth changing for. I moved on a met another man who treats me amazingly and have never been happier. My worst days with my current boyfriend were better than the best days with my ex, and leaving him was one of the best decisions I have ever met. Know your worth.
That being said, a few more weeks might be worth waiting to see if things actually do change. But in my opinion, if he really wanted to make you a priority, and that you expressed it was important to you, than he would have already.
Well… on the bright side… you’re out. Ripped the bandaid for sure
I hope you’re doing better today. My condolences on the loss of your friend.
Your dad is an asshole for cheating. Your mom is an asshole for letting him from his child. You’re an asshole for being upset he’s spending time with his daughter after your mother denied them this for 18 years. Your feelings about tuition are justified though.
Tell mom, talk to a professional and with through this.
Get it back and tell him it’s probably a good idea cuz if he has another gf in the future and she finds it, especially considering it’s hidden, that could cause him a lot of unnecessary bullshit.
It’s so creepy to keep anything!
I’d tell her I want a divorce, and not change my mind. She’s going to lie to you over and over
Well, she clearly isn't ok with having contact with exes. She's allowed to have that view. I personally have the same view but I let it be known very early on. She should have communicated that to you long before you two agreed to marry each other.
It sounds like there are some serious communication issues going on here that are a much bigger problem than you two disagreeing on talking with exes. Is she keeping the phone on silent, or did she go out of her way to keep her phone from showing any pop up info when she gets texts, etc? I find the second one to be way more sus. I keep my ringer off bc constant dinging annoys me to no end, but my notifications are all on and pop right up on my screen – which I leave sitting out if I'm not on it.
The fact she just huffs around and won't say what's bothering her is not something I'd be willing to take into a marriage.
I ended up telling him over text because we couldn’t make time to meet up. He already knew. Idk who told him, because I didn’t ask.
Ok let me explain some things in my comment people are saying it wasn't an accident but it was an immediate reaction I didn't really mean to actually kiss him and no I wasn't waiting for this moment to eventually happen so that I could kiss him.
Daniel is like someone you'd consider “conventially” attractive if you saw him you'd find over him too but he also has a good personality which is why I fell for him even more I wasn't being “boy crazy”
I do feel bad for what I did, but I'm afraid to hurt both guys which is why I'm afraid to tell the truth because I have grown to deeply love both
I can hold myself accountable
“I feel like herpes is a big deal”
That's because it is.
So I've been given an ultimatum by my fiance that if we are going to work he will never let anyone control him and he's not going to “let me make him stop being best friends with her” because if I do, he will leave apparently so not only do I have to stay friends with her so it's not weird but he's forcing her to stay in our lives after all this
I’m sorry man, you shouldn’t have to go through this. It sounds like your wife has already checked out. I would at the same time, calmly request couples counseling and consult with a divorce attorney to see what your options are. I would also start checking disrespectful behavior in a calm manner. Read No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Glover. Good luck.