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I agree completely, as a man it can be nude for us to express how we feel all the time. As the other redditor stated, communication is key. Be open with how you feel. When you talk to him remember not to get angry about it. Think about how you want to go about it. Have clear points on what you want going forward. Have things that you can compromise on as well.
Its really gonna depend. general rule of thumb no contact is best. a little here and there if you lived together and need to work out money of belongings is acceptable ofcourse. if you plan to be with someone else no contact isnthe best way to respect your new partner ifnyou ask me. even if you don't intend on doing anything with your ex its still a red flag to most. Ive gone with the zero contact option and when im with someone my ex is never a form of insecurities for me or my current partner. but I've also been on the other end of that where an ex just wont go away and it doesnt feel good.
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I (19M) have been with my girlfriend (19F) for about four months. She's the most amazing, beautiful and kindest girl I've ever met with great personality to tie it all together.
We lived 5 hours apart and I just moved to her city this week so this is my first time being at her house.
Everything was great and it felt amazing to finally be able to spend a lot of time together without worrying about when we'll see eachother again.
However today started off kind of rocky. She told me to get comfortable and to feel free to put my clothes in her closet for the time being. (I'm staying with her family for 2 weeks).
The closet is kind of big and confusing (this is to say I wasn't snooping) so while looking for my clothes I found a section of what I'd say was easily 50 if not more hoodies, very obviously men's hoodies all neatly hung in a closed off section.
That moment felt so surreal I didn't know what to make of what I was seeing, my mind went from is she cheating to maybe she collects them to who tf needs this many hoodies?
I immediately asked her about it, I wasn't angry or accusatory I just said “Hey, what's going on with all those hoodies over there?” and her explanation was that this last summer her best friend and her made a “game” to get as many guys' hoodies as humanly possible, just for fun. She said she never had anything with them and it was for their entertainment, and after I asked if she'd be willing to get rid of them because it makes me uncomfortable knowing my girlfriend has a collection of other men's clothes in her closet she said ok and continued the day as if nothing happened.
Now she is a really pretty girl and I have no doubt she'd have zero issue having guys give her their hoodie for whatever reason, and I don't think she had something going on with 50 guys this summer, but it kind of rubs me the wrong way.
I can't stop thinking about what really happened this summer and if she's telling me the truth since she never brought this up in our 4 months together. And giving her my hoodies now feels less special for some reason.
Maybe it's just my insecurities speaking but it felt like a hit to our relationship for some reason. I've been kind of distant today and she keeps asking what she did wrong but I don't have a clear answer.
I asked my friends for advice and they're split between “dump her” and saying I'm crossing the line by asking her to throw out her clothes and being cold even after she explained what happened.
TLDR: My girlfriend keeps hoodies from other guys and never told me about it and now I'm doubting our relationship and I don't know what to do.
Reddit please help?
He picked his job over staying with you. I think it’s pretty obvious what you should do.
Anybody can lie about anything, including you.
What did she lie about?
Bro was being ripped apart in his previous post I'd be pissed and condescending too while writing the update if I were him lmao.
“No”. It's a complete sentence. There isn't anymore more you need to explain there.
Everything you said is also quite worrisome.
Post this to r/legaladvice
Don't change yourself, girl. Change your address and your status to 'single'. This guy isn't going to change.
Everyone copes different ways. It's really selfish to expect someone to cope the way you cope. That's like me saying why don't you cope the way I cope. You need to open up your perspective and see life from other people's lens. You sound really selfish and self-absorb. Truthfully I'm not trying to be mean but the only way to recognize your negative behavior is for someone to tell you about it. You should value your wife more than your house and your belongings. If you don't then you don't understand what it means to be have a relationship. Your woman deserves better than you. She deserves a man who cares about her more than a house or clean room. That's my honest thought and feelings towards it and I'm not trying to be mean but come on man