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Goddess Siren, 33 y.o.
Location: Alaska, United States
Room subject: 1st night , come hang out
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Fetishizing is more than just being attracted to someone. Thanks for playing.
The horror ?
Should I just go back home? ?
Abruptly stopping antidepressants is not a great thing to do. When I was on sertraljne, I ran out and couldn’t get it refilled for 3 long panic attacked, hyper paranoid, crying jagged days.
Your weight is perfectly healthy for your height, and 112 may have been underweight. I’m 5’2 and I think I look way better at 135 than I do at 110.
Before dumping him, I’d have an honest heart to heart with him about how is comment hurt, you’re perfectly healthy, and you’d rather have full cheeks than a depressed mind. If he doesn’t respond positively, and is more concerned over your (perfectly appropriate) weight than your mental health, then I’d kick him to the curb.
In my opinion you should probably be doing a couple of things in parallel.
1) “preparing your exit” by talking to family, divorce attorney etc.
2) working on the relationship by talking to you husband and setting clear boundaries. He owes you an apology and an explanation as well as a promise that he will never do it again. If he persists, then do # 1 in the open.
3) some personal therapy. Something is odd here – you dated for long enough to see a couple of Christmases. This behavior couldn’t have come completely out of the blue; people don’t act out of character. Either he’s been throwing red flags or something has changed. Assuming he’s been throwing red flags, how did you miss them? Assuming he’s changed, are there red flags you’ve missed there or could it be medical?
Soft ESH.
Yeah, you didn't expect her to offer herself. Naked day at work, you're home, just want that BLT. Understandable. Relatable.
On the other hand. She offered herself. Made herself vulnerable. Doesn't mean you should automatically accept the offer, but you probably could have let her down nicer. From the sound of it in your post it looks like you were pretty blunt. I'd be upset at that point too. Wonder if my partner doesn't want me anymore.
Perhaps give her a hug and a cuddle and tell her you love her for greeting you like this, but now you'd really love that BLT to get your energy up for some fun play together afterwards. You're giving the same message, but far more acceptable.
So, you're a soft A.H. for the bluntness and your irritation with her. She's a soft A.H. for not having the BLT ready.
All in all it looks like you two have a communication error. I don't know what other stuff is happening in your relationship, but you have to remember it's not all about work, bills, kids and a roommate. You're a team and you have to work on that team together.
Or if neither wants to, quit the team to let each of you find their own happiness. But you talk it out either way. Calmly and without judgement if at all possible.
Why did you feel the need to fake orgasms? Was he very insecure about how often you orgasmed prior to this convo?
She is violent and controlling. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I think you should make clear that this is a hobby you will continue with, that you will make plans from time to time unless there is an emergency and that breaking your stuff is on purpose is NEVER okay.
Quite frankly, when a relationship has reached this kind of abusive behaviour it’s time for counceling or a break-up, because you probably have a few unhealthy things happening that you don’t even see as a problem, because you’re both used to the way things are between you.
Nah he wants to work on this and try and save the marriage? He goes
Do you know where she lives? It sounds from your relationship like you should have no difficulty just going over to her house to see if she’s doing OK I wouldn’t suggest that if you didn’t have a close relationship with her family, but according to you, you do. I think after knowing someone for a year, you can just visit to see why she’s out of touch.
Thank you for the detail of reviewing my previous posts. I guess it's because I dismissed him too quickly and started a new relationship without knowing that he was sick. I have been in my current relationship for exactly 6 months, I had been with the previous bf for 2 years. When I started my new relationship, we broke up half a year ago.
I would say this probably is coming from a place of insecurity. Do these “episodes” happen often? Sounds like she might be anxious. Lots of people are jumping to tell you to breakup, but if you’ve been together for three years it seems ridiculous to me to breakup with someone because they had some anxiety and couldn’t sleep.
The answer here is therapy. Let her have the space she wants or whatever and then have a conversation. I would gently suggest she seeks some help. If she refuses, and the behavior continues, then I would re-evaluate the relationship.