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She also mentioned that I never made it a priority and kept pushing the goal post further away. e.g. wanting to study first, live! by ourselves and also save more money. All of which we've done.
She argued that I spend all my savings on my own hobbies and never saved for a ring like I claimed I would.
Is she right about all of this?
I'm not asking what your intentions were, what you wanted to do, or why you made the decisions you did.
I am asking if her descriptions of your actions here are correct.
Additionally, it sounds like you both had a general understanding that you wanted to get married and the onus was on you to propose, is that also correct?
If both of these are true then this is far bigger than just getting married or not. Your relationship is circling the drain and you are going to be as blind to the coming end as you were to the fact that she long ago gave up on the idea that you actually want to marry her.
This isn't 'make a flashy proposal and hope for the best' time. That wouldn't work anyway since she would recognize that for what it is and resent having to push you that far just to get you to pull your finger out.
This is 'serious couples counseling time' to figure out how your communication broke down that much, and to figure out where you want to go from here. (And only because this post literally reads like a response to “tell me you have adhd without telling me you have adhd”, I will say you might want to explore that possibility with a doctor and then a therapist of your own as well.)
Why would you want your first attempt at romance to focus on a woman that you think will almost certainly reject you? That's your self-sabotage, right there.
It's also a really bad idea to date within your existing social circle, for the same reason it's a bad idea to date co-workers. If the relationship goes south, you'd still be forced to see each other often, or else give up attending social events with your friend group until your broken heart and bruised ego recovered sufficiently. Some mutual friends might feel forced into taking sides, which could further mess up your social life while you are still reeling from the breakup.
Most likely you are attracted to this woman because you've gotten to know her fairly well as a person and as a friend – and that's how you will find another, more appropriate woman to date. Now that you are feeling more confident about wanting a romantic relationship, look around for someone likable who is NOT in your primary social circle – maybe in one of your classes, or someone who shares your passion for a hobby, activity, sociopolitical cause, etc. It's also OK to ask friends to play matchmaker, and introduce you to friends and relatives who they think might be a good fit for you. Good luck!
You two are not compatible. Find someone who values monogamy as much as you do. Not that difficult.
Alright