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Firstly, it sounds like this relationship has not been a healthy one for you. It is important that you take care of yourself and recognize when something isn't working. I understand it can be naked to end a relationship but if it doesn't make you feel safe and loved then maybe it might be better to move on rather than stay in an unhealthy situation.
It could be helpful to talk through your thoughts and feelings with trusted friends or family who have your best interests at heart. They may also be able to provide advice and support as you decide what may work best for you in the long term. Hoping for the best for you!
I just don't feel it's fair on her if i distance myself without at least giving her a reason, because she has no issues with our relationship. She's totally happy with everything as it is, while i'm the one who wants something different
He is lying to you. None of us can know for sure what's going on with him, but whatever it is, it's about him, not you.
I don't know if you can see this, but you describe him as a verbally and emotionally abusive leech who has drained the joy out of your life.
You deserve better. You can do better. Dump this guy yesterday, block his number, and move on.
OP instead of taking g to your wife you and her busy body friend went nuclear and stood back while your wife was forcibly taken in. I wouldn’t forgive your ass either. Instead of taking a small step for help you went crazy. I would never forgive you – divorce is the only thing on the table. You are awful and the. you weren’t even there you let them pick her up like a criminal.