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Jesus Christ please break up with her immediately. You are right: you shouldn't date anyone.
my ex abused me, and cheated on me with a fourteen year old she groomed for three out of five years we dated (and cheated on me with our best friend, and with another man, and those are only the ones i caught onto). the only strong reaction i hold for her is absolute fucking loathing.
i'm now engaged to a wonderful woman who worships the ground i walk on, and we are in the healthiest and happiest relationship i have ever experienced.
yet i would still have complicated emotions – and yes, possibly even cry – if i found out my ex was engaged and committing to someone in a way she never, ever, ever once had enough respect for me to do.
emotions aren't clear cut and not everybody experiences them the same way. you sound incredibly young with next to no relationship experience, and/or wilfully ignorant. i really hope it's just the former.
Then we need a game plan. Do you have a go bag or an extra set of keys to go while he's sleeping? I really think you need to lie about the dog, give it away and say it ran away or died.
so you are basically thinking that she is hiding much more than just this from me about the whole situation? Why did she in first hand come clean about it then? She told me she was feeling extremely guilty and had to let go of this.
Should restaurants not pay the employees wage? Where they can live from * too european to understand *
Don't underestimate a person with a plan. What does being a woman have to do with it? SBF scammed people and he is young. This isn't about sex. People can be scumbags no matter the age. The person who thinks young people can't scam other people is a fucking moron.
I nearly left my boyfriend after he made me meet a female friend that he never told me he had a sexual history with back in college.
Raise your standards bro. From everything I’ve seen on here, the general consensus is to disclose any sexual history with people that are still in your life. Honestly I don’t think anyone should keep anyone they have had a sexual history with in their life let alone around their partner bc it’s wildly disrespectful
Your girl and your friend are both problematic for not telling you.
ITT: people still fixating on the money aspect even after OP clarified that the dates can be free.
She has to be cheating or something dude. Cause ain’t no, I’ve been with my gf for the same amount of time and im at her place all the time. Sometimes we hangout and don’t even talk just vibe
Do you even have the kid yet? I think it's ridiculous to be having this debate right now. The automotive industry is going to look quite different by the time you have a kid and that kid learns how to drive. What if your kid doesn't wanna learn how to drive?
What a ridiculous argument to be having.
OP is a male fyi
Yes, but that was years ago.
Has he tried calming collars, sprays, etc. on his cat? If not, he's being completely unfair to you and your cat.
Yea like if you don't want people to think you're an asshole, then stop being one, guy!
Everyone's assuming his best friends sister wasn't piss drunk too. So what then… They raped each other? Drunk sex happens…
Having seen this many times these are clear signs that she has or is about to leave the relationship. Time to get out bro
homie needs to go work on himself by himself for a bit. it's probably best to break this off now and hope he finds a way to heal his pain. you can carry stuff like this into any relationship and expect it to be okay.
Well if he is gonna stay with you, he needs to do more.
Sex and some dates here and there isn't enough.
You need better communication here. Tell him you don't have issues being the gf that cook and stuff, but you want something back. It feels unfair to you, you have needs too that needs to be heard.
Otherwise you stay in the position you are in and that's on you. Whatever you will do from here would be you keeping score instead of doing what you feel is right for your bf. You take care of him as a gf would but he isn't acting like a bf on the same level.
The whole basement? LMAO. But in all seriousness, you were completely in the right. How the fuck do they have the audacity to break into YOUR basement and be mad at you.
The whole basement? LMAO. But in all seriousness, you were completely in the right. How the fuck do they have the audacity to break into YOUR basement and be mad at you.
Stop cooking for him forever. Don't wash his clothes or shop for him or engage in gifts or plans for his family/friends. He isnt deaf ( he understands what you are asking for, he just can't be bothered. ) he's decided not to help and is resentful of you pushing for it.
Just on-line room mate style and do for yourself only. You'll resent him less in the long run.
You are not his mom & he's not disabled you don't have to care for him just because you care about him.
Your mom has been trying for a long time to alienate you from your father. Im sorry to say it like this but, shouldn't it be more obvious to you whats going on? She's been blatantly pulling strings and trying to remove him from your life. Dont let her choose for you again, make your choice based off what you want
And that makes it better how ????
Dude…vaginas aren't supposed to be pretty…and the next time he says something like that, word for word, tell him, “Well, if I stand upside down, I still got a pussy. You got a face.” ? ? ? ? ? ? That's from a newspaper comic where a dude was standing like that… ? ? ? ? ? ?
I don't know about you but my routine when I get home is to change into comfy clothes, wash and moisturize my face, maybe do my evening stretches. That would be enough time for him to make a serious dent in a sink of dishes. If you do anything similar, you could give him a “last minute” warning: he gets tf off the computer right away and does the dishes while you get ready to cook or is on his own for dinner.
There's also lots that even a poor cook can do to help prep dinner (chopping veggies, fetching and putting away ingredients, washing as you go). He could also set an alarm on his phone, say an hour before bed, to remind him to go do the dishes if he hasn't already.
Those are both more conciliatory/kinder than I think he deserves, tbh. I'd rather be single than tolerate someone treating me like that. It's not the dishes, it's that you said “I'm struggling and this is important to me” and he couldn't spare 20 minutes to make a huge difference in your mental health. I know that sometimes we feel that we're being petty because it's just dishes, but it's actually about whether you can trust and depend on your partner. There's nothing bigger than that.
He isn't ashamed of his behavior at all is he. Not beside himself with worry over what he's done to you and your future. Not crying to you in apology and desperately trying to find a way to save the relationship. If I didn't have the world's guiltiest, most ashamed husband I'd be concerned. Does he actually CARE that he's left you with no health insurance, in the US??? BTW, if you can find a research lab or whatever you're doing for your graduate degree in another country, and can afford the plane ticket there…it would health-wise and financially be a wise move. Please check into it.
That doesn't seem very likely.
More likely is that you are suffering from paranoia. People don't generally keep up a pattern of harassment like that.
You don't provide much information, regardless. Consider therapy.
Doing fun things together helps build relationships, so NERF guns as workplace culture may be unusual but it isn't immature. The immaturity is the ways that one deals with challenge, adversity, and treats other people.
She’s definitely sizing him up – but if you trust him it doesn’t matter. People get hit on.
Get a new girlfriend
FIFA as in soccer?
I agree with her.
I can’t think of any logical reason for her feelings outside of her hoping to get pregnant. And I’m saying this as a woman who doesn’t like the feeling of condoms at ALL. I would never in a million years wing it, even if my cycle was like clockwork. If I didn’t like condoms, I got an IUD. Problem solved, and my male partner also felt protected. But if I didn’t have that as an option and didn’t want to go on BC (because I can’t tolerate it) I would never in a million years tell a guy he can’t wear a condom. Why would I want to have sex with someone I’m making feel uncomfortable like that? It makes no damn sense.
18 years..
I do have untreated ADHD. My mom didn’t let me take meds as a kid and I didn’t realize how much of adhd affected me. Depression and ADHD combo is insane and I don’t think my bf takes into account about my adhd. I don’t want to use it as a crippling word for me but it explains a lot of my behavior but with that said I know others who have ADHD and so well in life.
He’s got your money in a joint account, won’t let you spend it, spends it himself freely, and got you to open credit cards in your name to finance your lives when he wasn’t working? And he guilts you into doing all the house work?
This is clear-cut financial abuse. Separate your finances while you can and book it out of there. Do you have friends or family who can help you?
This won’t get better.
Beyond it being cringe, he could easily rap without being misogynistic and gross and yet he chooses not to. This guy sounds like a loser
When I moved in with my now husband, life got easier, not harder. We clicked. We made compromises. We split chores and agreed on the cleanliness level we were ok with. Living with him was never nude. Arguments are had without raising our voices.
5 years is a lot but 50 is longer. Do you want this to continue for 50 more years? Idk man, I’d make myself available for someone who increases your happiness, not drags you down.
It's only long distance from January to July and then I'm finished with University. I should've mentioned that…
This introverted Internet stranger would also like to be your girlfriend's friend. I would totally watch The Mandolorian with her and she can play with my cats.
Don’t believe what a woman says. Believe what a woman does. If she has friends that cheat then she cheats too.
I guess you may be right, it’s just that when other guys have approached me they made their interest in me very clear which isn’t happening here and this has caused some confusion but I guess it could just be a personality thing
Yeah, it sounds like OP takes great offense to her friend’s behavior, and I totally understand being hurt by it, but it seems super weird to me she’d think it’s “petty” not to invite a friend on a work trip. It kinda reflect the idea she thinks she should be invited on these trips and so not getting invited is also petty, which like you said, it sounds like OP is expecting a best friendship while this friend only considers OP part of her general friend group rather than a close/best friend. I’m pretty sure if OP tells the friend about the trip, there will be 0 expectation of being invited. I’d never expect even my best friend to invite me on this trip, personally. It’s meant to take a significant other, as reviewing a luxury resort for a week without your partner might 1. Reduce the experiences you take advantage of and 2. Might cause a worse experience overall as people like being with their loved ones on vacation, but it isn’t really meant to just give away a free trip.
Hopefully OP reflects and realizes maybe she isn’t happy with the state of her social life and works on getting that into a good place rather than projecting the dissatisfaction on her friends.
How do poly relationships work, practically speaking? How do you have the time and headspace for multiple connections? What happens if your primary gets upset you’re spending so much time with another and not enough with them?
As someone who used to be poly, i apologize for everyone who has harrased you
Firstly, you are 100% in the right to not be okay with it
Second, youll always have that feeling that you're nit enough when someone says that
My ex told me that when i expressed that i was poly but wasnt looking for anyone
Just do what you feel is right
It's still on us to try to work on it though. He's got to find strategies that work for him, be it writing things down, putting reminders in his phone, using one of the dozens of to-do list apps etc.
It's super difficult for people like us to just do things, I know that. I'm still working on it. But there is a difference between trying and fucking up and not even trying. OP's husband doesn't try.
Oof that’s a real swift kick in the nuts metaphorically but hurts just as much. There’s not much you can say or do right now. Give him space and let him come to you. For some this can actually be a dealbreaker so be prepared for that.
In my (23f) experience my three-way was the last straw for my relationship and it was all downhill from there. It really needs to be extensively discussed beforehand and sober to establish boundaries but hindsight is 20/20 as they say. Im sorry youre going through that too. Give him time and space. Maybe talk about what went wrong when he's ready but you can't push these things. I experienced a lot of jealousy afterwards (mff). It was not good for my mental health. My best advice is be kind, patient, and gentle.
Without assumptions, I'd say it's not petty at all. Even if the friend is expecting an invite, it wouldn't be petty. You do not owe her an invitation no matter what other nice things she may have done for you.
That being said, she never owed you an invitation to travel or to be involved more in her life. That sounds harsh, but I don't mean it that way. It's simply a matter of you both viewing things differently. You can't guess her reasoning and without asking her, you'll never know.
I tend to be more of a giver in my relationship and sometimes I am hurt when that is not returned. I've learned to let it go and not take it personally. You can only control yourself. And your expectations of others will seldom be met.
I say go on your vacation alone. And while you're there, just consider the importance of this unequal friendship. You can still go on as you have, you can pull back a little, or cut the friendship entirely. Whatever makes you feel happy, and appreciated, is the right choice.
So your husband is telling you to “forgive” her text because her husband is leaving? And that doesn’t tell you anything? This probably wasn’t the first time she pulled something like this. His experience with you probably opened his eyes and realized that he doesn’t have to be in a situation like this.
I would still look out, your husband (he really should be your ex) can not be trusted. I get that the next time he wants to cheat, he’ll be more discreet instead of “inviting”‘you in.
Play stupid games, win stupid prices
I was initially on the wife and kids side because I didn’t read this thoroughly. He doesn’t need to be a father figure for a 15 and 17 year old. Looking back I saw the 10 year comment. He’s been their only father since 5 and 7?! He IS the father in their life. Children that young don’t come to the conclusion that the man solely responsible for their wellbeing for a decade isn’t their father unless someone has been telling them that. The wife is definitely to blame for filling the kids heads with this nonsense. I went from skeptical to so angry for everything this poor man has been put through. This is heartbreaking.
!RemindMe 3 days. Please dump this abusive clown
Fertility windows occur once a cycle and unless her periods are about 4 hours total, it's not every 2-3 days. I understand her fear, but she can take ovulation tests and confirm when she's actually fertile, which is usually a few days a month (including how long the sperm can survive inside her).
Yeah, I freelanced for several years before grad school and now work for a consultancy and it's way, way better for me, and not just for the financial stability. And super agree on that amount of debt with no income or particularly dedicated prospects for acquiring income as not attractive characteristics in a partner.
Why is this even a question? He's practically taunting you to do ir.
Tell nobody about this. There’s nothing wrong with this. A slip of the tongue or not. She apparently sees you as a father figure. That is never going to be a negative thing so long as you are a respectable human. Take this as the huge W that it is.
Why are you with him? Raise your standards. Drop and punt kick him into next year. Move on. You don't need his shit….and that is what it is…shit.
Chuck? Is that you?
She is walking cliche.
Everything you’ve written about him screams insecure. Don’t date insecure men. Unless you’re actually looking for a shortcut to ruin your life.
He was trying to spare your feelings. You'd have been offended either way. If he told you before or as you are now with the lying. As a female id be offended either way but I wouldn't feel my trust had been broken. More like hurt they didn't bring it up so we could address the problem and find solutions.
Medications, diet, possible STI, yeast infection, BV or and even the condoms themselves or the lube on them could be doing that and messing with your pH or something though.
Id definitely see a gyno and/or invest in flavored lube?
You both may not be used to/expected thats what vagaina tastes like though?
jump his bones! would be a nice way to capnyour relationship with your ex. it is petty, but who cares
Also make sure you have PHOTOS and if any digital receipts are available as well, some companies do give emails now at check out or when you purchase online, have someone print out what you can. Get photo proof where the time & date stamp with the geo tag is showing.
This will not only help you with the lawyer in a small claims court, you will have extra leverage on getting reimbursed for the things you have physical tangible proof.
Heck, try to remember furniture wise what company you bought them from. Call up or go to the store. Someone in accounting or who runs the paper work, should have on file the receipt of purchase.
Rooting for you Op!
Jeez that’s harsh. No, OP, don’t go stick your neck out there and cause needless drama for you by getting involved in your friend’s relationship.
I'm not even touching the fact that you married an 18 year old.
You told your daughter you wished she was never born, and that you resented her. You got exactly what you wanted.
You're not her father anymore, you're the sperm donor.
And let's be honest, she's naked, probably out of his league and gives him perfunctory sex that keeps this mess going every six months.
I think you should take vasectomy and tube tying of the discussion list and focus on other issues.
Nobody should demand that their partner makes such permanent changes to their body.
If she's hellbent on not wanting more kids.. then she should get her tubes tied.
We do. I’m not saying it’s his fault. I’m saying we’ve tried and honestly he’s done nothing wrong and I, me, am still feeling stuck.
She must be getting something out of it. Like massive amounts of money and not really having to do anything
Lol, so given the whole “husband is actually deployed” it's quite clear this is just a troll bait post. Have fun.
He has to pay for the house. If he has to pay her to come see him.. they got a word for that type of woman
My(M29) mother-in-law(F57) took my gaming console
MIL came to visit us
She's got 2 more weeks left
You online there, she's visiting, your rules, not hers, she took your gaming console, you take her visiting privileges, and she's out – now.
That's it. If someone's visiting with you and doesn't respect you or our stuff, toss their sorry *ss to the curb.
My fiancee is annoyed too, but she's asking me to wait out the 2 weeks so she doesn't get into any issues with her mom
Nope, her mom created the issue, kick her mom out. If your fiancee doesn't want her to be stuck out in the cold, she can put her up somewhere else – but not in your home.
Dump him. This is super childish behavior, and 37 is too old to be playing those games
Girl: I think we aren't talking enough.
Guy: Okay.
Ghosts her for a week
Guy: Hey you wanna set up another date to fuck?
Girl: fuck off
Guy: I wonder what I did wrong 🙁 such silly issues.
Again that's toxic masculine overtones. Humans are a community based animal. We need others to prosper. Feeling the need to handle emotions privately is previous generations telling you that it's wrong to show emotions. You don't need to sob to anyone who will listen but confiding in the person closest to you is the most human thing anyone can do. Nothing stoic about pretending to be ok with the one person that loves you enough to help
He's usually quite level-headed, so I took the fact that he was upset about this to mean that it was a reasonable thing to be upset about. It's interesting to see that some people already disagree.
She had just smashed, was probably in a good mood and not expecting this deep conversation. “crunch cake” does sound kind of funny if you don’t have the negative feeling towards it that you do. I wouldn’t judge her whole personality on this one incident. Try talking to her about it if you need to, or just tell her that her mother is a slag, then you’re even.
How long have you been together? If it were me I would've ended it the first time she was unfaithful.
You are letting your fear of being single keep you locked into a relationship where you can't trust your SO. Relationships don't work without trust.
If you want to stay with her – because she cheated in the past she loses some right to privacy. You should bring up your feelings to her and express that you feel like you can't trust her. Ask to have access to her phone. Usually I'm against that but if there has been unfaithfulness before I think it's valid.
Face value is that he’s a busy guy.
When I bring up the subject of not having sex he says thinks like , it’s not about not wanting it , it’s more about being exhausted at the end of the day . Then it’s kind of like bringing me flowers the day after I say “ you don’t buy me flowers “
Fair comment, okay I am half asleep so this may not be a very coherent list but I’ll try..
Recklessly, irresponsibly spending before bills and necessities are paid.. emotional bargaining and guilt tripping if I try and shut it down
Gaslighting over literally everything, even mundane things that really don’t matter
Mocking the way I speak and laugh
Nasty comments about my mother and sister all the time (and we ONLINE with my sister)
Constant comments about exes and former sex life (I’ve had a very vanilla life so I don’t get why he does this AT ALL)
Constantly telling me he isn’t interested in what I have to say
Telling me he won’t do or give me certain things if I don’t do particular things (like he won’t make me a drink if I’m not accompanying him downstairs, which is very hot due to my disability and he knows this) (he never forces anything sexual though)
Dismissive of almost everything I say
Criticising anything he can about what I say
Annoying me on purpose because stressing me out and arguing is ‘fun’
He likes to give me his crazy eyes, look aggressively at me, he says that he’ll ‘beat me’ but in a jokey way.
If I ask for some space he’ll get closer and try and get me to lash out
Shouts at me ALL THE TIME and generally speaks to me like shit
Always telling me I should leave him … e.g ‘for fuck sake if I’m that bad just get rid of me then’ type thing
Super accusatory about who I might be speaking to every time I’m on my phone (I’m a loner by choice I don’t even WANT to speak to anyone)
Criticising the things I like and how good I am at the games I like to play
Now that I write it out it doesn’t seem so bad maybe it isn’t but I feel awful I don’t know
Why are you even bothering with someone who acts this immature when he's 32 yrs old? He acts like he got caught out doing something by his mother. And, basically, he kind of did. YOU recognize that he couldn't afford what he bought. HE recognizes that but he needs to double down on the fact that YOU are the person in the wrong because he knows he over extended himself. Forget making him a sandwich. Let him have the consequences of his decision. I wouldn't mix finances with someone this immature and unable to have a rational discussion.
Quit focusing on the ring!!! Get it out of your head and focus on what’s really important here: your boyfriend does NOT want to get married. If you really were able to pressure him into it, prepare for misery.
He likes having you as his gf for companionship and sex. But if he wanted to marry you, he’d say so. He even said that he wasn’t ready for marriage yet!! Face reality!!!
-An aspect of the brand he works for is hosting big parties with models and influencers all over the world. So far he hasn’t been attending of these by his own choice but always has the option.
What has that got to do with anything? Surely he realises that these women aren't going to want to be with him just because they attend a work function.
You haven't mentioned it but I would assume he's pretty average looking. If looks are this important to him and he could get a very hot girlfriend he would have.
Honestly you should just break up with him. If he ever earns enough money to entice a hot girl to get with him he'll cheat with her/leave you for her 100%. He's not a nice guy, it's not worth it.
He probably thinks you'll be jealous.
It depends on how and why you broke up.
If you decide to meet do so in public and maybe have a friend on hand.
Genuinely curious, why the body count number?
As long as the potential benefits to your career outweigh the negatives of getting a divorce.
As far as your relationship goes, you don’t really know this person, sorry. You don’t know if your are compatible, and haven’t had the chance to online real life with them yet. So in that sense, you are absolutely not in a place where it makes any sense whatsoever to get married.
Do some research, understand the implications of divorce, understand that this may be a very likely outcome.
And if you do move forward, consider a prenuptial agreement if it makes sense, and don’t rush to make things more “irreversible” if you don’t have to. Like sharing property, or having children.
Thank you
I think the fact that you’re referring to housing and healthcare as “career benefits” indicate that you feel uncomfortable with your real reasons for doing this. If you can’t be honest with yourself about your motivations… you know the rest.
I am begging you to notify those women of what he did. If any of them are still his current friends “Some are his female friends I didn’t know he had sexual relationships with” they need to know to drop this guy immediately. If you found out one of your friends still had intimate photos of you save to the computer that they still look at, wouldn’t you want to know?
There are photos of her sleeping. Pretty sure they’ve been taken without consent.
Co-parenting apps for the win. The less contact the better.
I don’t disagree with what you’re saying, but I don’t know that it is worth messing up an otherwise good relationship over. On the other hand, he knows you’re upset about it and you don’t care if you look at porn sites but you can always go look at porn.
Don’t stay in a loveless marriage “for your kids”
You did nothing wrong. This situation is not healthy, he can’t control you. Having friends is not cheating lol I suggest you suggest him therapy, but a 34 year old might be hard to convince. So, good luck.
If you like. I kept a journal for a year in my early 20s and re-reading it a few years later brought up those same emotions you described. I wish I hadn't lost it, but my life isn't worse off because I lost it.
Do what you feel.
This guy sounds like a loser. You didn’t name one good thing ab him when you described him
Your boyfriend is a gentleman and trying to make sure you’re safe. That's what a good man is supposed to do. Just because your parents didn't give a fuck doesn't mean you have to be with someone who acts like they don't either.
End it. You’re not the priority in his life. His wife is. Whether he’s not really separated and cheating or he is separated, you’ll never be a priority. You helped him cheat, boundaries or no bc it sounds like you didn’t physically cheat but did emotionally. Move on from this mess.
>4 month relationship (Well, 2 in her eyes)
>something is troubling you
GTFO my dude
🙁
Break up with him. There is a lot of insecurity here. Tell him the next time that it comes up that you and the other person were mutually using each other for fun and pleasure, that's it. If it's a dealbreaker for him, if he wants you to be ashamed of being a woman with needs then he can find himself someone else. You did nothing wrong unless these men forced you into bed, then it was mutually consensual and you're tired of being shamed for having a sex life.
Not everyone behaves the same when they really feel bad. It's really ignorant to think you know otherwise.
That's what you would have done. Maybe. Sounds like you've never cheated, so you don't even know what you would do.
Lmao controlling would be me telling her she can’t go out. Ive never done that. You are an idiot.
There are so many qualifiers in my post that it might not be her situation, I'm not sure why you would even bother saying this.
I can't tell you how I exactly know how you feel. All too well. Good luck.
It's really sus that he lied about it like that. He could definitely be using it to DM people and hide it from you. I think it's worth at least asking him about
She was a adult and zero grooming involved ? making a guy out to be a predator with no proof is beyond low. OP is in the wrong for lifting her hands
This guy is psychologically abusive. I hope you see that.
He’s 32 years old and wants you to be a clingy, co-dependent teenager begging for his attention, so clearly that’s not healthy.
When he’s upset, he pouts until you ask him why he’s pouting, then he belittles you for asking, which doesn’t seem like a super-effective solution to his problems.
Jesus Christ only knows why he thinks this is how an adult relationship functions but it really, REALLY isn’t. These are big red flags. It’s manipulative and immature.
Cut all of that dumbness off right now unless he goes to therapy to work in his super-inappropriate behavior and feelings of inferiority.
The dynamic he is setting up is controlling, manipulation, and brainwashing you into giving him the kind of unhealthy attention he is craving.
It is toxic af.
LET HER HAVE HIM.
why TF do you want him? This is your chance to escape and don't let him back!
I downloaded the app originally back in December and then deleted it after about 3 days. I’ve stayed off dating apps until about 2 weeks ago, and matched with him about a week ago now. So it’s been just over 3 months since I was last on the apps and I’m at a place where I’m ready to date again. Sorry if my post didn’t clarify that!
Quality comment
I definitely agree. No one ages out of making bad financial decisions. I was lucky and my dad taught me to be financially literate pretty early. From that, I was able to pick a boring college that gave me almost a full ride and I had no student loans. Meanwhile, all of my friends went to the biggest college in the state and had way more fun, but they are also all still paying loans. We should be taught finances in high school and even before.
Nah but he might fade away.
Lol this is such bullshit
Just concentrate on getting better and don’t overthink the rest. We all have to keep in mind that our partners go through things as well and we can’t expect them to be always totally supportive at all times.
This!
What's this shit about when you pretend your blind?
I doubt it started that high. I'm guessing the predatory interest rates have been steadily climbing while she has been unable to keep up with minimum payments. Bankruptcy can't even save her, and it's not like she can sell the degree back to the lenders to recuperate any losses lol. Student debt is fucked.
They JUST broke up! It’s only been a couple weeks, and this is a marriage, not just a dating relationship! You’re being so naive. This is 1000% a vindictive rebound (there’s no way she doesn’t recognize that this would destroy your friend), and you absolutely should not even think of bringing this up to him when their separation is so fresh. Yes, transparency is important regarding exes, if this was a year from now. Two weeks?! It’s crazy that you’re even entertaining this. There are millions of other women to be with. At this point they probably haven’t even gotten lawyers. She’s really just wanting to cheat on him. You’re beyond shitty for even thinking about doing this.
You don’t need to wait until he makes up his mind, you can make up yours. Do you want the rest of your life to feel like this?
Yea definitely agree, she has good benefits with her job so it should be easy to find a professional.
This is my worst nightmare and why I will never have children.
Yeah I don’t think you really like her as much as you claim to do LMAO
No this isn’t cheating. You need to deal with why you’re so incredibly immature. This isn’t on her at all.
When is that lease over?
Does she generally show other signs of a mood disorder?
It needn't be one, but it would affect how we work up your case.
You literally stated that it should have been split three ways in the comment I was replying to. And now three minutes later you’re now that it shouldn’t be split 3 ways like you said?!! Seriously?
Plus she spent 2.5 hours driving. Plus even if it was split 4 ways you’d still owe $11 fucking dollars which is $1 more than she’s asking.
Yeah he seems like he’s not upset and he said sorry. He was trying to talk more but I felt like I pressured him, so I’ve been responding slowly.
Never make excuses for anyone.
Well he needs to cut off his ex but it doesn’t look like he’s going to do that. I have seen this type of situation and he’s not going to stop with her. Tell him how you feel but I would say you need to move on.
It sounds like he hides his marriage from them as well.
Too bad my last therapist got another job hey, really could use their help right now ?
OK, let's male something clear, think about it, if his ex didn't cheat on him, why would he break up with her? So it sort of makes sense. Now for the important stuff, this man is still completely hung up on his ex and traumatized by what happened, this will affect your relationship with him, I don't understand how you “tricked him” coz you didn't. I would say have a talk with him, maybe postpone the wedding for a bit. But you can't get married like that.
Thats bc movies always show all the time the bf calling his gf beautiful. I think in real life couples can like each other for their personality and not looks
My calculation depending on the beauty standards of my country (starts from 9, because 10 doesn't exist):
Deduct 1 for being obese Deduct 1 for having a long forehead. Deduct 1 for short eyelashes Deduct 1 for single eyelid Deduct 1 for wearing glasses Deduct 1 for a flat nose Deduct 1 for fashion sense of more like a tomboy (tshirt and pants) than a lady (dress or skirt) Deduct 1 for being tanned
Im 1/10
I urge you to seek professional help for your health and I don’t for a moment doubt the reality of it. However, it sounds very much that you are using your health issue to attempt manipulation of this woman. She has asked for peace and space and some distance from you right now, and she is entitled to those things, so please respect that.
INFO: What kind of bird?
I think it might begin to get a little messy. It sounds like there are serious feelings on both sides and it might be hot to distinguish between those and sexual attraction. I think you might set yourself up to hurt or be hurt. I wouldn’t enter into something like this without making sure that you can handle it emotionally, be okay with knowing he isn’t “yours,” and that he may entertain other women/end your situationship to pursue an exclusive relationship.
However, that being said. It all comes down to how you feel and if you’re willing to accept the possibility of getting hurt or hurting this person. Don’t we all make that choice when entering a relationship anyways? But you need to be healthy and control your jealousy or define ground rules (communication, no other partners, end it before entering something new, etc.). Can you do that?
Man, you are in the wrong for snooping. Sorry, people have past and she did lie a bit about it but you got insecure and decided to snoop. I'd break up with you truthfully.
Dude you need to grow up and your girlfriend is trying to show you that because she loves you and presumably wants to be with you, but you are just like “nah stop being such a buzzkill” when she isn’t wrong.
And it’s fine if you don’t want to do any of those things, but she wants a person she views as an equal and right now? You aren’t. She has her shit together in a way that you cannot comprehend because you haven’t even tried to get yours together.
Not even for her, dude, get your shit together for yourself.
I know what he is talking about because I used to be this guy. Failure to Launch is a real thing and parents that never make you do anything create helpless children.
Nah girl you put yourself first! What ever friend called you heartless is because that’s the type of behavior she is used too. Good for you!
So your bestman planned an after party to your pre-wedding party and didn't invite your fiance….and you still want to be friends with him???
My suspicion is that the Fiancée said damning and true statements about Sarah that Sarah can’t now unhear. If it was standard mean shit, she would have gotten over it. But the fiancée got under her skin in a way that only the truth really can.
This is called abuse
Oh, I’m so glad you’re finally getting your trip! I hope you and your son have a wonderful time!
First of all… that’s kinky. And risky. Which makes it even more kinky.
Secondly, you have to take responsibility since you convinced your dad to hire her. She cannot look at you as her bf in the establishment; she HAS to look at you as her superior.
You will have to sit down with her and tell her that she needs to respect your family and the workers, even if she doesn’t agree. If she keeps up with the attitude, give her less hours.
Hanlon's Razor applies:
“Never attribute to malice, that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.”
My heart breaks and rages. Some of the comments on that post make me want to scream.
You're lying by omission. The things he's saying are kinda creepy and off putting but at least it's not false advertisement lol.
In a situation as serious as rape, who texts … like really?
Never send raw. Only watermarked samples
When someone is exhausted and in pain? Yeah he could’ve been nicer or more formal but he wasn’t rude. He just excused himself and didn’t want to do small talk with a headache. Maybe I’m biased cause I get headaches so bad I can’t walk but he said hi and told them he was going to rest. If it’s someone they know they shouldn’t need a bunch of pleasantries when you feel like shit. Especially when you’re not even the one entertaining them. He was minimally polite.
I’m so sorry 🙁
something to read over and over until this make sense. this is on point OP. take note.
Some woman honestly believe this shit hey..
I get she's going through alot that i cldnt possibly understand I've never lost a child bt i am pregnant and about to give birth. i would probably be besides myself if anything happened to my daughter during delivery… it sounds horrible.
But come on man.. he wants nothing to do with a kid that's his absolute twin and that's okay?
Kick him out. ? File for divorce, alimony, and child support.
Hi, thank you for your response. Everything happened quickly and I was a bit indecisive about what to do on the spot, but I think you are right – I need to be more assertive and independent. Thank you 🙂
Will he be missing school? Does he hang out with friends at home? 12 days is long time.
My dude. She is abusive. Leave. You deserve better. This is not normal.
Dad is blowing smoke. I'd say you just tell her, your father's behavior is unacceptable. I'm out. Remind her that every decent man with self-respect will bounce because of dad. Put ii in her court.
Exactly
I could accept that me and the mom didn't work out.
But if I ever discovered that a grown ass man was mistreating my daughter… The cops would be showing up.
stop making excuses. clearly he doesn't love you very much if he can't even ensure to spell your name right.
Lol he's not a boomer. He's Gen X. I am also Gen X and will soon be 50. I've been online since 1996…when I was 23 years old. I know damn well what a kissing emoji is and I guarantee that her “boomer” boss does as well.
Everyone always forgets GenX. Always. ?
of course I dont thats why I asked what can I do
Maybe the problem is that you are having so many disagreements in the first place. Like if y'all are having this whole big conversational fight about where to eat for dinner, that's a problem. What kinds of things are you fighting about?
You knew she lied before you got married?
She needs therapy. You can't help with this.
Since she's pushing 40, this low self esteem has been going on for decades and needs real work with a professional. Unfortunately she's also well old enough to know that by now and hasn't done anything.
And the woman didn't want to have sex with him? What a stupid excuse to take away men's rights about having children. I'm guessing women have their sexual rights and reproductive rights separately??
If he and the woman wants it then sure he will support if not it's the womans buisness to do that.
Men have sexual rights and reproductive rights just as much as women do. So eat shit jackass.
Call him a loser or me for that matter but it's not going to change anything. I know i would take it to court or fight it out in civil policy to ensure that womens reproductive choices are not enforced on me.