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That seems incredibly unfair. Does it feel unfair to you? So if you go in with him on this new house, you will be worse off financially despite him having money coming in from the rental home. Does that feel off to you at all? Do you wonder why it’s not benefiting the both of you as a couple? And making both of your lives easier? Are you concerned any that he doesn’t seem to care about you taking on more of a financial burden? I’m wondering what about this whole situation is a positive for you.
You can't truly know what someone else is feeling. You can only make assumptions based on their behavior. It helps to have strong trust in one another – enough to know that their words are always genuine.
There is no point worrying over this. Be a good partner and foster regular communication.
I appreciate your thoughts, thank you.
Hello /u/happybanana789,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
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[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
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That seems incredibly unfair. Does it feel unfair to you? So if you go in with him on this new house, you will be worse off financially despite him having money coming in from the rental home. Does that feel off to you at all? Do you wonder why it’s not benefiting the both of you as a couple? And making both of your lives easier? Are you concerned any that he doesn’t seem to care about you taking on more of a financial burden? I’m wondering what about this whole situation is a positive for you.
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My fiancée(27F) and I (36M) recently got engaged (2 years of dating) and we're having issues because she thinks I'm selfish with money. I have two rental properties that I own before the engagement that I spent the last 9 years building up to for retirement. My fiancée who is a doctor wants her name on both of them because we are getting married and everything should be jointly owned. However, we've had issues and I just have this irrational fear that she might leave me after putting her name on it which stems from us keep breaking up and getting back together. Usually within the same day or 1 day at max but early on in our relationship she did say it a lot. I told her that I'll put her name on one property after marriage and 2nd after 5 years. She said should be done after we have a child. I was initially hesitant but eventually gave up and said I'll put one after marriage and the 2nd property after our 2nd child but she still thinks I'm selfish for not sharing and have nothing to show for my past 9 years of working going into this marriage when she will be the bread winner. I still don't understand why my 9 years of working before her matters but it does to her. She wants me to be generous so she doesn't have to feel stingy later during the marriage. I keep telling her just give me a little bit of time so I don't have to feel like she's going to leave me but I she says no. She says she'll make more in the long run so she feels like I will benefit more in the long run the longer we stay. She wants to feel treated well while she's in her carrier early stages. I keep asking if we can get a therapist to have outside perspective, but she always says no to a therapist. I don't hold that against her because I know it's hard saying yes to a stranger, and I've heard it's not easy to get a therapist involved for some couples until an ultimatum is thrown. Also, she did bring up I do too much for retirement and says she will have a hefty inheritance while maxing her retirement so it will not be an issue and wants to have something for now and not the future. I do agree with this part. I do max my retirement and try to save up enough for maybe a bit too much which I said I will try to address.
All in all, it may be an irrational fear but it is something I have. I just need a little more time or assurance I guess.
You can't truly know what someone else is feeling. You can only make assumptions based on their behavior. It helps to have strong trust in one another – enough to know that their words are always genuine.
There is no point worrying over this. Be a good partner and foster regular communication.