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Hello, i, ‘m Elisa♥ Happy Halloween!, 18 y.o.
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Ya ok, and you trust her? She didn't tell you for a reason and she is only going to lie to you because you have no proof but you know what's happening! There playing strip pokher!!
I feel like it may be better for you two to talk face to face because it leaves less room for misinterpretation. But it can be harder for someone to admit how they really feel in person. I feel like you need to discuss things further with him since he’s the one initiating contact. It may be that he doesn’t know how he feels, he’s stressed because his life circumstances changed and doesn’t know how to maintain what you two have got going on, he isn’t ready to commit, he’s interested in seeing other people on the side, etc. You’re really only going to get more info by speaking to him.
Police, there is no reason they wouldn’t threaten you again if you did give them the money.
I hope so
Reading all of this… yikes . But , there’s good advice here..
Good luck OP, and I hope your next relationship(s) enlighten and build you up . You deserve so much better .
Your comment reminded me of a peer review article I read when I was working on my psychology degree and taking a counseling class.
Men who not have their kids engage in domestic violence more. Losing their kids makes some men feel emasculated and they are way more likely to beat their new romantic partner than a man that is with his children and their mother.
Obviously not all men are like this. I would not be surprised if OP’s husband is though.
Yeah we're currently NC, I told him to not contact me for the next 3 months.
She's your girlfriend and you're in a relationship, but you haven't talked to her about this? Brought up your concerns and discussed how it makes you feel?
It reads like you're not even concerned it might be an EA. It's purely about respect and your ego. If that's the case then you should break up. For her sake.
First of all, don’t block someone on social media to solve a relationship problem. Second, have some sympathy for your girl. She was blackmailed into sending those photos. Finally, the boy is not your friend. I cannot condone violence publicly, but it sounds you gave him a thrashing. A lesser person would say, “great job.” I am not a greater person.
You need to cut him out of your life and focus on helping your girl heal. Going through something like that can fuck someone up in the head. She’s probably feeling used and vulnerable. It sounds like she was 18 when this all happened, maybe younger. If the latter is the case, tell him to back off or you’ll leak that he’s a pedo. If it’s the former, she’s probably just trying to protect herself by placating a terrible person. Don’t hold it against her. Some people are twisted like that.
It's called Mental Health First Aid. Look it up. You don't need to be told everything. You should be educated on the signs to look out for when things aren't okay. 'Go to your specialists'- typical narcissistic crazy making response. Google 'things narcissists say' and half of your comment will appear on the list.
Listen. Communicate. The basics that apply to everyone just turn it up a lot because he's gonna need a but more care to feel safe.
I recommend trying to create a familiar environment. If there's music playing, have both of you pick it before hand. Explain what you would like to do and how. Establish safe routes of communication like safe words. Ask where he does and does not like to be touched and in what ways. Ask what he is and isn't comfortable with.
My dude it's been 6 years! How'd you get this far without communicating about this.
This sounds like an unhealthy relationship.
I wish you luck.
Yea this is how I’m feeling about it.. especially if he thinks he can get away with it. I don’t really want to deal with that or live! that uncertainty in my mind that he might (will) do it again
she said he stayed over a couple of times. So he would have gotten them, then…. but think about this.. they live! in the same bldg, on the same floor, right down the hall from each other.
Why did she ask him to stay over and make him sleep on the couch?
This post is suspicious. I gave it the benefit of a doubt, even though it sounded like a Lifetime thriller… then I read that part…
You're allowed to have philosophical conversations with other people. That is literally the whole point of pursuing higher education. You can't be held responsible if this guy on campus is one of those troglodytes who believes a “taken” woman can't even speak to another man. But all of this misreading and immaturity is why sane people don't get engaged at just 18 and 21 years-old. Neither of you is ready for that and hence you're going to argue a lot about dumb things because you both lack the perspective and life experience to know how people in relationships are supposed to function in the world around them.
Age 25 does seem to be the age (at least for guys) where we lose that boundless metabolic rate. I used to eat whatever I wanted and maintain the mean bodyweight for age, height etc, but as soon as I hit 25, I started gaining weight and thats when I had to start actually focusing on my diet to keep it all in check. For most of my friends, it was about the same experience, with exception of a few lucky SoB's that still can just eat whatever and nothing happens.
Stress as you mentioned is also a factor, proper sleep is another one, consistent meal schedules.
OP let’s start with the dogs. One, great, two better, three is too many. The mess and time needed is too much. Now onto your dead bedroom issue, you trying to beat a dead horse. For whatever reason she’s not interested. The beginning was the bait to hook you and now that she reeled you in your just food without thought. Stop wasting your breath with this partner. Pack a suitcase and ghost her for awhile to gauge the commitment to you. Your being manipulated and used. You should install small cameras in the house to monitor her behavior when you do this.
Yeah. It’s not an issue for us as we have our paperwork in order but it’s certainly worth mentioning!
It's pretty sad that you're admitting that you haven't changed at all in the past decade or so.
Then that really shouldn't be an issue, you received needed dental care without it having any impact on your finances. He needs to get over that. He is probably just hyper-reactive to anything and everything due to the loss of his job, give him some time time process that.
The risk is vastly different with a car and a motorcycle.
I agree, this entire situation has not been normal. At every stage, there has been escalation by her when I think I've been trying to de-escalate. Ultimatums are frequent and were exhausting at the start but I think I just don't care about them anymore.