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You have correctly identified him texting you constantly while in a relationship was annoying, you even called it toxic. Why would you put up with it again after two years of freedom? Ignore him. If he doens't get anything out of it, he'll stop eventually.
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Please please please leave your sick abuser no one deserves treatment like this.
No one indicated their health didn't matter. Two things can be possible at the same time. From OPs post, there were no truly intimate shares. We need to be realistic and understand that relationships are not always easy. Being human is complex but it doesn't have to be cruel. If the first thing we do when we feel uncomfortable is shut someone down, that isnt helping either of us. Processing things together will always make couples stronger or make them see they aren't suited for long term. Which, is not a bad thing. Society just sold that lie to everyone.
Dude works 50-60 hours, sole person bringing in money, taking care of house, and caretaker for wife yet you think HES the problem?
If this was the other way around this sub would be calling him a hobosexual and telling OP to stop mothering him.
And the way to do this, in my opinion, is by confessing.
There you have it. You'll never know if you don't. But like you said you do run a risk…. if she doesn't reciprocate it may change the dynamic of your friendship (but maybe only temporarily, there is no way to tell). But if you are prepared to get over her if that happens, go for it.
Call his parents and tell them all of this. Warn them that you are breaking it off and are concerned about his mental health. Break up and stay safe!
Ok, so what if it's saying I am still up for it. It takes two people you're saying that just because I sent him a sex toy and an apology. That automatically means he'll want sex? No, I've had people apologize to me and I never talked to them again. Just because you apologize to someone doesn't mean they will talk to you. You don't know this?
Shes in therapy
You don't. You get some therapy to fix your self esteem and let the other women have him.
You can put a condom over your head. It fits. His parts are not too big for a condom. He just doesn’t like them.