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your boyfriend is twenty years older than you because other forty six year old women know how much of a fucking loser he is.
men aren’t afraid of women, even when they should be…
This could easily come across as a threat. You were both out of line, and clearly not able to have a productive conversation about this.
Why is it okay for you to throw out intimidating hypotheticals, but he can’t?
Yeah I think poor OP forgot to pay her brain bill.
OP didn't make the post to ask for community opinion on porn usage in a relationship.
Different people allow different things in relationships but the most important thing is understanding and to agree on what is allowed to take place in the relationship. If someone enjoys porn and wants to continue using it then they need to find someone who's okay with that.
You are the best dad, and I love you for that. Your story made me cry. Please let your daughter know she's worth every bit of love you give her and that i am proud of her for being able to take the step to save herself.
OP you sound like you have some issues to work through.
Socializing with a boss is part of the job and if it's a boss he can't just hang up.
Gee sorry I looked in your closet honey I couldn't help but notice though that it's full of murdered cats I'm sorry I broke your trust.
Don’t pursue someone in a relationship. On-line with integrity.
But they still see each others at work
Your ex sounds awesome.
I hope she finds someone good.
Octopodes routinely pretend to be gay to get close enough to the female to mate.
It might be worth finding out what the immigration specs are for this country you'd be going to. Some have partner visa allowances or in the worst case scenario you'd have to marry her a few years early so she could go with you, if she wants to. If this is a serious relationship and she's willing you might be able to both take this position and keep her.
I think this is a really good idea. To your original post I was going to say: definitely do start some new hobbies that are things he doesn’t do, but please talk to him about them. Tell him you need some interests that are separate from his. If he jumps into those same things despite that, because he needs to be better at everything, there’s your red flag, but if not you can both grow from this and you’ll have more things to talk about to him where you are equals.
Eh, I guess if that's the case I will find out the hard way. I don't really feel threatened by her like that at all. If she try to lie to me about something serious its just going to end with her crying lol.
he knows people go to bars to meet other people. He also may know that many men are pushy, disrespectful, and are dangerous at bars. But this doesn't mean you're going to meet people and it also doesn't mean you can't handle your own.
You're right its not really controlling/manipulative. But I think it sounds more like insecurity and projection.
Your boyfriend isn't going to listen to you if he hasn't already.
The fact that he's comfortable allowing his friend to online with you without contributing to the bills, doesn't listen to your very real and valid concerns about the situation and the effect on your health, pretty much shows you your place in his world. He's putting a virtual stranger he met on-line above you and your needs. That is a huge red flag. It's also a huge red flag that he coerced you into giving up your SDiT, if you qualified to have one.
You told your boyfriend you would need to move out if his friend moves in, and he didn't respond because he knows it would be difficult, if not impossible, for you to actually do it.
You need to make plans to get out of this relationship and living situation.
Are you both on the lease? If so, do you think your landlord would let you out of it? And would having a 3rd person living there be a violation of the terms of your lease? How long is your current lease? Would it be possible to find another apartment where your bedrooms aren't next to each other, and where you could put a lock on your bedroom door?
Do you have any income at all? Any potential for a remote job? Any financial resources?
If you are getting any therapy or mental health services, do you have access to any support programs that could help with finding a place to online, or that can offer you some financial assistance? You say that you are disabled and have a pet, but that shouldn't disqualify you from living somewhere if you have some form of income. It will likely take some time to find an acceptable place to live! if you plan to move out.
Wait… what?
Is he aware of the fact that vasectomy takes some time to become effective even after it is done?
What's that bullcrap?
“We've been talking about sex a lot and I, without much thinking, agreed to doing some things earlier which I now realized I'm not ready for.”
Why did you talk about sex in the first place? You are not even together!
Why, as a virgin, you agree to sex with a guy “you have been seeing for a while”. How does that qualify him as a good an responsible first?
Oh it doesn't. Oopsie.
RUN!
Him getting mad at not getting his way is a lout and clear HOOONK into the “bullshit around” warning horn.
Right
Good that you have started therapy. I'm sure you know that it takes time so give yourself some room to grow. If the therapist isn't a good fit, try another. Good luck with the apartment hunt. It can be tough these days.
Where did I say anything in that comment to defend him?
What I did say is that she was shitty too.
In the real world, sometimes both people in an interaction are behaving like assholes.
His behavior was completely unjustified.
But she deliberately demeaned him, and it's baffling to me that people can read what she, herself, wrote and not see that she deliberately asked him a loaded question and then demeaned him for his response.
They both sound like childish jerks.
This!!
Last thing: you not drinking or drinking is up to you. Not him. Do not let him pressure you into drinking. This can end very badly.
Are you acknowledging that your fiancés actions and judgment are causing you to seek therapy? And you’re going to keep moving the relationship forward?
My friend, this could be a sign of things to come in the future.