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Unless she's ready to walk, she will put up with what's thrown at her. You can tell her to do things that help with her confidence and self esteem so she actually sees her self worth. That way she grows her mental strength to make a decision.
I'm not presuming anything here but some people really struggle to see the logic of the situation. There standards are so low, they settle. They are trauma bonded or have other issues like abandonment. It's not easy walking away because they see being single as something really scary.
Keep talking to her and checking in. Offer her an exit if she ever feels like she's in danger or unsafe.
Your gut is right here. In the middle of the night he sneaks to speak to someone. He lies and says it was about the cat. He refuses to let you see his phone until he can wipe it…
My guess (and it’s completely a guess) is that he’s been cheating on you with this guy. The affair partner either decided to surprise him, not knowing you existed or went to confront him and he caught him at the door and convinced him to leave somehow. He didn’t expect you to wake up or see the camera footage.
Whatever comes up, comes out. We don't put our hands over our mouths. – Brother Ali.
In other words, if you don't want to be in a potentially uncomfortable conversation then keep your mouth shut in the first place because its time we stop biting our tongues. If you have the conviction to put your view points out into the public do not be surprised when you meet a like minded individual that holds opposite beliefs to you.
I'm done being nice. I'm done being overly polite. I will be civil, but I refuse to have hidden conversations anymore.
Actually we both have solo name accounts that we both know as well as joint financial. As well as discussions over how money is balanced between individual and joint. We both have expensive hobbies and yes we discuss how they are managed.
‘And yes, secret accounts are a sign of distrust. Separate finances could be a sign of distrust or not depending on how the couple handles the discussions, their circumstances, and other factors.
You do understand that anxiety and the need to demand certainty is the problem of the person making those demands? And if I had a secret emergency bank account my spouse would have EVERY RIGHT to be offended and hurt by the lack of trust.
‘That is the part that infuriates me about these paternity test assholes. They are all ”I need this paternity test to protect me from hurt because I do not trust you not to be lying to me about the baby’s paternity even though you have never given me any reason to think you are cheating on me and I have been lying to you saying I trust you when clearly I do not” but they refuse to acknowledge the hurt that causes their partner. They refuse to acknowledge that what they are implying is that NOTHING their partner does is good enough for them to be trusted without independent verification. They refuse to recognize that this personal to their partner and their partner is hurting due to their actions. This is no different in attitude to the guy who accused his gf of cheating for no reason and broke up and now wants to get back together. So you get the paternity test, now how you do plan to repair the trust you destroyed that your partner had in you?
Now some people are okay with paternity tests, the same way some people are okay with joint finances and others are not. Different strokes for different people. But it is horrible behaviour to demand this out of the blue during the pregnancy just like it is horrible behaviour to announce that you have changed your mind about being child free after marriage. Ethical people sort that stuff out early in relationships, and accept that means they may be incompatible.
Men have the right to ask for a paternity test and women have the right to decide that men who ask for a paternity test are unworthy partners.
I had to go reread because I was definitely thinking this was 2 people who had been together for like 6 months. Married?!? Oh boy.
My first thought was that she is tired of her work and is looking for somebody who can financially support her while she only has to have sex with him. Is there a possibility she is really into you? Sure but it is a much small possibility than my first suggestion, having such feelings for a person she barely knows at her age (I mean not a hormonal teenager who sees any sort of attraction as true love) seems unlikely