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Boundaries are not about controlling other people's behaviours.
If you want to ask someone not to speak about a subject around you that's not a boundary, that's a request of a friend. (And it's also up to you to remove yourself from the conversation if you don't want to be around it.) I think it's reasonable to ask them not to engage in detailed conversations about the ex, but to never mention a known relationship in the group chat seems a bit over the top.
She cheated on you during month 1 of your 3 month relationship. She'd never have told you if you didn't hear it. She also literally told you she wasn't thinking anything of it because she was drunk. What happens next time? Respect yourself enough to walk away. Good luck.
There are never guarantees that anything works out. But if you already know you’re not willing to spend your life with her, TELL HER THAT!!!
Frankly, I would set a boundary pack his bag and tell him not to come back until he’s decided that he wants to be married.
…And wait for him?
Girl he made his vows years ago. The time to decide was then and he failed. He belongs to the streets.
Except why send to him and not you? It feels like she's not over him and using you as a placeholder while showing him what he's missing out on? She should be the one wallowing right now and trying to repair it anything but instead she darvo'd you so much.