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What could repeatedly talking negatively about her ex help her to avoid? Would you be more receptive to her venting if she talked about and owned her anger, hurt, disappointment and fear? I imagine you would, because you seem to empathize with her. Instead of asking her to stop talking negatively about him, encourage her to talk about her own feelings/pain. Ask her if she blames herself. Initiate a real conversation with her. Open the door so she can walk through her pain. Many people in western society are taught to feel ashamed of their feelings. And it doesn't help that we often hear “get over it already!” Just provide a safe foundation for her, and she will do the rest. Think of a difficult time in your own life, and talk about your anger, hurt, disappointment and fear. If you cried during your grief, tell her. It will allow her to soften into her own sadness. And you will have taught her a valuable tool for life, regardless if you advance into a relationship or not.
Practice makes perfect. In this especially.. Use your words, communicate, improve, and be the best for each other…
Talk to your therapist about your obsession with pubic hair, I'm sure they'd love that
But you don't seem to understand that you caused your own trauma…you knowingly put yourself in that situation whether your boyfriend knew it or not doesn't matter because it's you that put yourself in a dangerous situation
Wow this was very helpful. I think every time I feel bad. I’m going to read this. I’m basically battling this in my head. I’m glad he told me and we broke up and he didn’t string me along for 6 months or something. We made plans, he said I could call him anytime, we had a great time and he said “ I don’t regret this relationship at all and you’re a beautiful person”. Meaning he respected me to let me go
“He said that when I decided to renew my lease…” that right there is enough of a reason to dump him and never look back. The first thing he did after being caught was come up with some weak excuse about how it’s essentially your fault. Don’t stick around when someone is DARVO-ing you. It will never get better. If anything, the lies will only get worse.
Do you know this for a fact? Or could he just be looking at them?