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Model from: jp
Languages: en,ja
Birth Date: 2003-04-20
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Ethnicity: ethnicityAsian
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He needs to learn to clean as he bakes.
My partner is in surgical residency, and I also have a patient facing job in healthcareāso we are in a very similar situation to you.
My partner and I have a fairly equal division of labor (last night he made dinner and did the dishes). He listens to my stories without interrupting me. He goes out with me regularly on date nights or to see friends or to hike or to the gym. He is very supportive when I talk about my job or how overwhelmed Iām feeling after a nude day.
Your partner is putting too much demand on you. Heās expecting you to be his mom, his maid, his chef, his therapist, his event planner, and his household manager. These are not your jobs and you arenāt getting paid to do them. He is taking advantage of your kindness and heās using his job as an excuse to do so (but consider this: he chose this career, and if he didnāt online with you he would need to figure out how to balance his job and being an adult). Heās not supporting you, heās not treating you like an equal partner, heās not doing any of those jobs for you that youāre doing for him. You deserve better.
I'm sorry, you're giving women shit for wanting better than average when you yourself rate yourself a 6/10?
Come on, dude. I get you're bitter but it's honestly ridiculous that you're whining about people wanting someone that does more than the bare minimum.
You sound a little bit stalker-ish, to be honest. It would never cross my mind that my wife working with other women (we are a same sex couple) would be a cause for alarm. And we've been together for about five years and it never occurred to me I should look up her company's website.
It's just… a lot.
I was cheated on in a previous relationship (didnāt break up because of the cheating). I decided to give it another go, mainly because the circumstances were sort of unique. We had been together for about a year, but a good portion of that was LD – she was doing field work in another country, in a pretty remote location. Being gay is super illegal in said country, and she was struggling with being closeted, which was very triggering for her anyway. Basically, she ended up drunk in an underground gay bar on a trip to the city and hooking up with someone. She told me about pretty soon afterwards, and seemed genuinely remorseful, and was just generally distressed about how much being forced into the closet/terrified of being outed was affecting her.
We were together for a good 4 years after this and had a happy/healthy relationship for the most part but, in hindsight, Iām not sure I ever did fully trust her again – or at least, I always felt a little less secure.
Cheating happens, we get tempted, there are the good reasons etc – but in my opinion, assuming youāve agreed to be in a monogamous relationship, cheating is the sort of betrayal of trust thatās almost impossible to come back from. (I also think telling someone youāve cheated is less about honesty and more about trying to find a way to end a relationship without actually ending it, but I guess thatās a whole other discussion.)
From what youāve said, my advice is just to end it. Your SO doesnāt sound like he had much of a āreasonā to cheat (if a āgood reasonā even exists), and to be frank you donāt sound like youāre going to be able to get past this – nor should you have to. You deserve to be actually happy, not happy but also scared (which doesnāt really sound very happy at all).
A lot of people think that love can do anything, cure problems, fix unpleasant truths, remove annoying boundaries. It's kinda instilled by stupid romance movies and fairy tales. Love conquers all, blah blah. I guarantee he thought her boundaries were because she didn't love him enough, and that if she did love him then she would magically not have them anymore. So every time he checked to see, the return was: Nope she still doesn't love me enough. Which would just make him more frustrated each time.
All that being said, he's obviously wrong, he should have figured out by now that no one is required to change for you, and your expectations of people will only lead you to disappointment. But it does annoy me that this idea is perpetuated so much.
Agreed. There are too many damned dogs in the world. Paying for another one to be bred into existence when there are so many sitting in shelters is the definition of unethical.
I posted photos of myself on Reddit when my boyfriend was doing some disgusting things here, out of revenge. It was stupid, I know. He was hurt. I understood why I did it, but he was for sure hurt. We then discussed that it makes me feel sexy to feel wanted and desired, and he understood. We concluded that if I wanted to post, I would discuss it with him first. Turns out, I havenāt really wanted to. But Iām glad the door is open for discussion
Yuppers. The guy was just burned out and booze amplyfys that feeling when your really, really tired. Good on you for trying but I think all he needs is a good nights rest.
If you ever friendzoned one of your so called “friends” then you are just a hypocrite.
Send a photo of your face and the text āyour chair for the eveningā
Yeah there might be info which is being left out too or unknown to OP. Is this friendās family religious or homophobic. He may say heās not gay to reconcile with the beliefs with which heās been brought up. Then due to the fact heās engaging is sex with a guy heās feeling guilt and confusion.
Could be like a sub drop or as someone mentioned post coital dysphoria and may need aftercare. Cuddling and kisses could help.
Who knows what the friend is thinking, unless itās discussed further.
i can usually push a meltdown to home when im outside and i have SPD + AuDHD (all dxed)
It's probably a trap.
Sorry for the harshness, but I really wish someone had even mentioned to me that what was happening was wrong. I needed to be slapped out of it, metaphorically speaking