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I am sorry and don’t want to be mean but i am having trouble understanding your reasoning.
You are a mother of 3, in a relationship for 8 months with a man that shows all kinds of red flags and now you are pregnant with his kid because you guys did nothing to prevent you from getting pregnant. He is now pushing for an abortion and told you he wants nothing to do with you if you keep the baby and you feel pressured and need time to process before you can make a decision. And oh yeah, your other kids already know you are pregnant.
Tbh, after making sooo many bad decisions, I would seriously consider having that abortion. If only to protect your other kids from becoming parentified.
Guys are not mindful in the same way women are. Odds are he simply is going about his life and isn’t remembering*** to check on you. Not to say he doesn’t care or isn’t thinking about you. Honestly you could just ask him if he’s been thinking about you. If not then no he doesn’t care too much. But do not expect others to express their care as much as you do. People maintain their relationships at different speeds.
That's sweet.
My husband and I gave up trying to surprise each other with gifts after our second year together.
My only rule is – don't ask me to wrap my own present.
This is tangential, but I have no fucking idea how the fuck you can live! for 32 before knowing you might be gay, like not even having an inkling. Cuz even if you have that bit of an inkling and you dont tell a prospective partner, that makes you are heinous human being.
You don't know what the whole truth is and you don't believe her. Friends will lie to protect and no one will press charges because, it's a he said she said situation and no one can prove otherwise, and absolutely no one will confess to sexual assault. They took her a part of her and not you, whether it was forced or not and you can't handle that aspect of it and you can't handle her hiding it. Glad she's in therapy and you need some also. When you feel this way it is best to stay away, sorry my opinion and she doesn't need you around not believing her and blaming her for this. Leave her be and move on, her getting help and being away from you is what's best.
Oh, sweetheart, you’re not ready for love. Or for arguing on the internet. Get therapy and come back next year.
TBH I dont think your bf and dad relationship will work.
I'm not from the US, so maybe it's a cultural difference, but I honestly don't understand why your boyfriend took that route. Let me see if I understand the conversation correctly: your boyfriend mentions that 2016 was an excellent year for him, your father mentions that it was not so good for him because of the police murders, your boyfriend instead of letting the subject go or simply nodding decides to do a comment empathizing with the killer? It was literally your boyfriend who chose to hint at his political position instead of taking the safer route of nodding or keeping quiet to just get along with his FIL.
I would recommend that you just don't bring your boyfriend over to your house for a while and let things cool down. On the other hand, I think the smartest thing to do is to tell your boyfriend to save his comments that empathize with police killers or the like when he is talking to your father, it is not very difficult to stay silent or just nod to get along with the father of your girlfriend.
Regarding your father, I don't have any advice, but if I were you, I'd be a little annoyed by the lightness with which your boyfriend justified the murder of random policemen, since your father could have been one.
It may be iPhone vs android rather than pixel. If he enabled push notifications this might override even uninstalling. The only way i know to solve this is to reinstall the app and disable all notifications then uninstall again.
Calling “im going to openly cheat on our already agreed upon monogamous relationship” a boundary is an abusive way to put it because its basically actual gaslighting. How selfish and manipulative. Let her go travel anf she can come home to an empty house and divorce papers.
If the father doesn’t want the money going to the brother because the brother has been LC/NC for the past how many years then they should act on that now otherwise when the father passes the brother will inherit anyway
However, I would also like to hear from others who may have experience with this situation.
Do prenuptial agreements also cover your finances after marriage? Or would you need a postnup for that?
a fair and justifiable reason why my fiancee should waive alimony support
Ehm….she's 22…has she got an education and work experience? Will she easily find a career? Are you planning on having kids? If so…. will you both work part-time, or do you agree on her staying home?
Given she can't work till she gets her greencard, do you give her money, pay into her savings/pension?
The issue I imagine he has is that he syspects you ca be hiding more. You have never confessed your cheating, so it is understandable.
There isn't a clear way forward, you can't prove absense of cheating by definition. He might decide to stay or not. If he does he might never fully trust you again and want quite a few things from you that will be rather controlling.
I assure you that I carefully read every word of your comment. It's already a clear red flag that you responded to my very emotionally-detached comment with an extraordinarily standoffish comment containing multiple accusations that I am angry. I will try once to dispel that misunderstanding.
I did not pass any judgement on the OP, nor am I now. I did not say whether OP has an obligation to the child. I said that many people (not necessarily myself) would see OP's husband as having some responsibility. This response is mostly provocation about how I am raging about OP being scummy, and that I can't read. Once again, I did not make such a claim and am not very interested in arguing whether OP is scummy.
Re: “None of my comment had anything to do with abortion.” Now why would I have gotten the impression your comment was referencing abortion. “One day we will stop forcing motherhood on people purely because they have a uterus” What could this possibly be alluding to? What is the hot-button issue where one side of the country's mantra is “stop forcing motherhood on people purely because they have a uterus”? What is the other common case where motherhood is being forced on people? I have no idea what broad issue could be related to this besides abortion.
So, you said some stuff, you said I was mad, but am I wrong that this doesn't have to do with anybody's sex? How would the situation change? Are these people who wouldn't call a man scummy in this scenario in the room with us? The comment you responded to didn't say that OP should take in the child because she's a woman. If your view is that nobody in OP's scenario should have any responsibility for Madison, just respond with that. You essentially straw-manned their argument with gender dynamics that were not present in what they said. All you can do here is fight ghosts who think women have a responsibility to every kid in the world or whatever. Nobody in this thread indicated that the responsibility is predicated on gender roles.
Contact the parents
Go to her right now and say I can’t do this anymore, I’m sorry we’re broken up, please let me know how I can help you find a new place.
you are valid for feeling the way you do, and you are not wrong for leaving if you choose so.
No contact, but please be taking steps to separate yourself from her issues. I do understand you have a son together, but please limit contact beyond that. Petty responses to her inquiries are just what I would believe she wants. Stonewall, Grey Rock, No contact. Concentrate on positives with you and the boy.
This is tough to go through, reach out if you need to the community and your support group.
Start with a simple convo, something like ‘Hey, when are we going on that date?’
(Kissing someone you don’t want to start a relationship with might be quite confusing for him btw)